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Because I Said I Would… Building Self-Trust

Because I Said I Would…Building Self-Trust

radiate with life meditation

We are all on a journey of some sort.  Living the Creative Life is about looking inside and seeing where your journey is leading you. Recently, my journey has reminded me about the value of building self-trust.  Building self-trust is a powerful gift for a Creative to give themselves because it often means they can more fully share their gifts with the World.

Tips for Building Self-Trust

Here is one of my favorite tips to help Creatives stand up and say to themselves and to the World…. I am doing it because I said I would.

Start a Conversation

In college as I was studying theatre, I discovered how powerful it could be to have a conversation on paper with myself when I wasn’t so sure I could follow through on my ideas or keep my commitments to myself and others.  Inside my journal, I would begin a deep talk from the part of myself that needed to be heard and let another part hear them out, even going so far as to answer the first part back in the voice of a loving, nurturing parent or creative guide.  Over time, I began to have those conversations more subtly in my head, and now, they are part of my daily self-awareness.  Occasionally, when I get stuck in the I-can’t’s or I’ll-put-it-off-til-tomorrow’s, I get real with myself on paper.  And then I dive into trying to understand the stuck part by listening from a place of love and compassion.  I began calling them Inner World Conversations.

The Inner World Conversations go something like this….

 

First inner voice: I am not sure about this. I know I said I would do it... but it just might be too much for me. I am not sure I will stick with it over the long haul. And what will happen if I give up or worse, What if......they hate me? ... Second inner voice: I know this is something important to you. You felt so honored to be invited to this super special project. They must have known how super special you are. All those fears and worries are a normal part of growing. But so is saying yes to your heart. I hope you will say yes. I will be here the whole way to help you figure out what is the next right step.

If you would like to build your because I said I would Self-Trust Muscle, get in touch with the Reluctant Part inside by starting your own Inner World Conversation. Begin by using two different pens, one for each inner voice.  Ask yourself what the Reluctant Part (the fearful, stuck, little, hurt, unsure part) of you needs to say, and then invite that part to share.  When you feel you have expressed the first layer of what you need to say, stop and read it back to yourself.  Don’t edit.  Don’t over think.  Pick up the other pen and invite the Heart-Centered Part (loving, compassionate, listening, peace-making part) of yourself to respond in a supportive way.

The back and forth can go on several times as the Reluctant Part finds a sense of being able to fully express itself and the Heart-Centered Part discovers how to help it feel heard and supported. The goal isn’t necessarily to make yourself do something, it is to build trust with yourself.  As a Creative, the more you foster a space of listening for difficult emotions like fear, doubt, and worry, the more you can likely build an Inner World that helps shift those emotions to deeper levels of peace, enthusiasm, passion, and ease.  This can help shift an automatic kind of living to an intentional, self-supportive way of being.  Lots of magic happens there!

Share Your Self-Trust Ah-ha’s

I would love to hear your ah-ha’s around self-trust.  Do you find yourself struggling there?  If not, what are your secrets to building your because I said I would Self-Trust Muscle?  Let’s continue the conversation in the comments.

build the tribe. spread the vibe. read. comment. share.

Rachel Payne with Creativity Tribe. Life Coach, Expressive Arts Facilitator, artist, spirituality, creativity

Creating Fearlessly Art Journaling

I fell in love with journaling the day it was introduced to me.  As an adult, I discovered you could create journals that held both words and images.  Mixed media journaling opened self-expression up to me in a whole new way.  My creative spirit and my art in general have never been the same!

Bite into Creativity

It has become a tool for ironing out ideas in my professional life, a stress-buster for my personal life, and a go-to source for personal development when I help other Creatives spin their dreams and engage more fully in creative projects.

About a month ago I started broadcasting on Periscope.  Periscope is an app that allows you to visit live with people all over the world and then watch the ‘scopes as a replay.

This upcoming week I will be joining a group of mix media art journalers on Periscope as we share tips, tricks, and inspiration to help you dive into #CreatingFearlessly!

Creating Fearlessly Mixed Media Art JournalingThe Creating Fearlessly Mixed Media Art Journaling series is FREE.  There are a couple ways to keep up with it. To watch live on Periscope at the scheduled times, go in and search for each of the presenters, then follow each of the artists to receive notifications.  OR search #CreatingFearlessly on Twitter to find replays.

Whether you are new to art journaling or have a stack of self-expressive jewels tucked away in the corner, this series is bound to offer you some little gem.

creativity tribe studio art table
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Life Coach Rachel Payne

How I Became a Doodle Daughter

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How I Became a Doodle Daughter

I keep chuckling to myself, remembering how I became a doodle daughter.  That isn’t necessarily something I have considered until today, this hand-me-down gift from my mother.

I am headed off to the Houston area to teach a women’s retreat.
Camp Cullen at Trinity Texas

Camp Cullen at Trinity, Texas

My subject is Art Journaling and specifically doodling.  I have been journaling since I was in 7th grade, consistently, and doodling even longer.

Doodling is one of those things I feel like I inherited from my mother.  I remember her sitting on a tall stool in the kitchen.  It was layered with years of contact paper.  She would talk to her best friend every day while something was simmering on the stove.  As the stories spun out between them, my mother’s hands coiled and dotted corners of mail or note pads.  I sat on the other side of the bar, watching….mesmerized.

I never took art as a youngster.  Drawing didn’t come naturally to me like it did her or my brother.  But I would sit and draw with them on still Saturday mornings at Lake Mathis, feeling like I was part of their special club.  Those were the roots of how I became a doodle daughter.  Some of my fondest memories.

Over the years, I have used little memories like that as a kind of creative communion between me and Mom.  Somehow I can know her better when I am in the rhythm of pen rolling across page. doodle art faith

Doodling can be an escape-from and a returning-to all at the same time!  What better way to celebrate getting away from it all and connecting more deeply with the essence of Self than to revisit that family tradition…..to honor how I became a doodle daughter!

Did my mother ever imagine she would be teaching me to bless my life with the dance of her ball point pen?  Probably not.  She was just doing her thing.  But the truth is, whenever we share our creativity with another, we are giving them permission to share a bit of their vulnerability with us…..with the world!  That is a huge gift.

So I am off to Lake Trinity, about 6 hours North of that little lake where I first enjoyed my doodle tutelage.  I am eager to connect with her there in my heart….between the lines, dots, dashes, and swirls.

happiness doodle of woman holding a heart  She is a doodle daughter.

Here is to my mom….and the legacy of play and expression she left to me.  It is my honor to share that with the women of the Spirit, Mind and Body Women’s Retreat this weekend!

For more about the art of journaling, make sure to look for my upcoming guest post series over at Cre8iveKlatch during March’s Art Month!
mind body spirit women's retreat

CT Blog Line Page SeparatorRachél Payne….Doodle Coach?  I like it!

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I love teaching art retreats!Rachel Payne life creativity coach

Body Wisdom + Trance-Formation

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Body Wisdom Wednesday is a new series for me.  It invites me into relationship with all my bodies…the physical, spiritual, and emotional.  I invite the bodies to dance with my intuition and creativity, finally capturing something of myself with a small image on a card to add to my growing collection.

I have been cultivating Body Wisdom for decades.  It is amazing what the body knows….what it remembers.  For example, when I was very, very young I had a traumatic event take place.  I never forgot the happening, but I was so young that I didn’t have a sense of exactly where it happened in my hometown.  One day when I was delivering flowers for the florist I designed for, I drove up to the back door of a store.  Finding myself in the alley, I noticed my breathing changed.  I felt vulnerable and my heart raced.  I was having a panic attack, only there was no reason that I could discern that would have triggered it.

I calmed myself, looked at my surroundings with more peaceful eyes and noticed an oleander bush that reminded me of a time long ago.  I called my father and asked him a few questions that helped me confirm that the alley way was part of the traumatic event from decades before.  I would have had no idea, but by body did.  It held the memory.

Now I drive by the alley way all the time.  It doesn’t bother me.  Instead I think of it as a place where I learned of the power of body memories, to honor what the body knows even if the mind thinks otherwise.

Flower Bender E

Trance-Formation

The woman in this Body Wisdom Card is a version of myself.  She is full grown but in the fetus position.  She holds a flower in her womb and seems to be attached to a blossom.  The image tells the story of  birth, rebirth, and what we birth.  In her hair hides a heart.  Hair can feel energetic to us, give us strength.  It connects us to our Crown Chakra, the energy center in our body that opens us to a higher Divinity.  The womb connects the Chakra Center at the other end of the body, as well, allowing us to connect with Mother Earth. Overall, the painting feels serene and transformative.  We often think of creativity as an active thing, but in this moment, it seems to unfold with tranquility. The woman has gone inward in a kind of trance that appears to be sparking a growth of self.

NEW: Free Gift to Boost Your Creativity!

 I hope you will head over for my free gift.  I really put lots of love and energy into, wanting it to bring creativity to your life and life to your creativity!

 Sign Up for the Creativity Booster Pack

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Blogtoberfest

 Don’t forget to visit Blogtoberfest 2013‘s page!

Rachel Payne life creativity coach

Angels & Faeries Week: Creative Spirit Doll

Angel Week 5

Welcome to Angels and Faeries Week!  I am celebrating the countdown to the grand opening of Angels In My Studio 2013 by sharing some of my favorite winged, spirited, and energetic artwork. Angels In My Studio 2013 is a 5 month online class that goes to that space where art and mystery, creativity and imagination meet.  As part of the art course, each week you will be invited to explore angelic imagery through art and guided meditations.

Featuring A Creative Spirit Doll

Creative Spirit Doll

Creative Spirit

This mixed media piece combines some of my very favorite art process and materials.  First of all it is an art doll.  I don’t know when I fell so deeply in love with dolls (perhaps I never fell out of love with them!), but they have become an important part of my identity as an artist.  So using one to capture the essence of my creative spirit makes total sense.

Some other parts I love include the Shrink Art head and eye dangle ( remember playing with Shrinky Dinks as a child), the use of wire and beads (which connect to the jewelry maker in me), and a totally experimental element that accounts for the organic body.  This is achieved by heating Styrofoam (a process I don’t do anymore because of its potential toxicity.)

This piece is one of my all-time favorite dolls because it is the first doll that so blatantly depicts me.  There is something very powerful about self-portraits.  At times I have quietly felt that it was self-centered to explore my own image in art.  Now I think it is essential! Being able to hold a version of yourself in your hands is emotional.  Creating this piece which attempts to capture my sacredness with the addition of gold encrusting, halos, and little jewels helps me connect with my own hallowed nature.

Want to see my art?

Speaking of sacred art, I wanted to give an update on the Summer Solstice Journal entry I did as part of a prompt offered by Galia Alena.  You can find the original post about this HERE.

Summer Solstice

Summer Solstice 2013

 

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I love Fridays around here because it is my chance to spin some energy for the folks who have bravely claimed creativity as a way of life on the Faces of Creativity Tribe page (you can put yours in too).  I hope you will head over to their blogs for a bit of inspiration….let them know you are part of the Creativity Tribe.

  •  Creative Clearinghouse is one of the go-to places for creative class listings, class and product reviews.
  •  Easy Scraps is the home of Ursula and her thoughts on scrapbooking, stamping, all things creative.  Some of her latest posts explore Gelli Plates.
  •  Diane Enright Photography is a beautiful blog that explores photography and Photoshop.

 Current Workshop: Angels In My Studio 2013

REGISTRATION NOW OPEN……CLICK FOR DETAILS

Say YES to YOU with Angels In My Studio…the e-course

Angels in My Studio 2013

Starts soon….would love to take it with you!

Rachel Payne Life Coach

 

My Dirty, Filthy Artsy Life

art journal 2

I have been getting my hands dirty with paint and marker, glue and glitter almost everyday.  It makes me feel alive!

Spirited Sprite

The drawing above was done during an early morning drawing session with a few little girls I was hanging out with before Art Camp.  They started talking about fairies and asked me to draw one.  This is my little Spirit Sprite.  She was the delight of the little artists and inspired a whole day’s worth of winged one art sketches by them.

This Summer has been filled with Art and Drama Camps, each day offering a chance to dig into my creativity with play and spontaneity.   All that art helped me realize I don’t share enough of my art with you, so I have created a page on the site that features different kinds of my work.  Some formal, some just doodles.  They are all from my heart.  I hope you will take a peek and let them inspire you to live a dirty, filthy artsy life.

Would you like to see my art?

Hop over and take a look!

Next Friday I will be sharing the finished Summer Solstice Journal Page.  And more Faces of Creativity Tribe.

facesofcreativitytribe2

I love Fridays around here because it is my chance to spin some energy for the folks who have bravely claimed creativity as a way of life on the Faces of Creativity Tribe page (you can put yours in too).  I hope you will head over to their blogs for a bit of inspiration….let them know you are part of the Creativity Tribe.

Linda Barutha is a super creative who has her fingers in all kinds of glorious projects.  She hosted the Art Retreat I taught at in Wisconsin…What a to do!  Her most recent endeavor includes a Call for Entries for a Design Team….due today, so hop on over!

Yugen Ro is hands-down one of the most creative people I know.  Musician, Poet, Artist, Lover of Life.  He also happens to be one of my dearest friends and was featured as one of the instructors for my e-course Touch the Moon in Fall 2012.

Jamie Birch is an aspiring author and jewelry designer who is chasing her dreams.  Jamie and I met through Kelly Rae Robert’s Flying Lessons and have supported one another’s creative and personal growth.

Rachel Payne Life Coach

 

 

Where Art Meets Mystery

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My journal has become my closest companion this last month.  It all began as I started attending a weekly meditation group and found rich stories pouring out of my inner worlds.  Often the stories were of my own healing or the impressions I felt from those I was close to.  Then, I began working with family members who were ill and a friend who was dying and the images I saw when I closed my eyes and got quiet invited themselves onto the pages of my journal.

I didn’t set out to draw my inner landscapes and the muses that populated them, but as my hand moved across the page to doodle, scribble, and otherwise make a mark, I found them showing up there.  They feel like some of the most personal drawings I have ever done.  They are more raw, more intimate, coming from my intuition. They are an expression of my spirituality.

I want to share them with you because they have felt like medicine to me and that kind of spirit-soothing through creativity what I hope to nurture here in Creativity Tribe Studio.

Today’s Intuitive Drawing came out of an evening spent in hospice with my friend.  As I waited in the silence of her room, I heard a call from within myself to sing a song I sang at the death bed of another friend.  The first time I sang it for the dying friend, I sang it over and over in her last minutes.  It felt like I might be helping to sooth the way for her.

The song says, “Surely the presence of Love is in this place, I can feel it’s mighty power and grace. I can hear the brush of angel’s wings, I see glory on each face. Surely the presence of Love is in this place.”  I think I have changed some of the words over the years, so it may have another version floating out there. But this is what I sing.

I struggled a bit with the urge I had to sing the song.  Others were in the room with me.  So I decided to sing it in my mind and began meditating on the door in front of me. The door to the room was cracked so that only golden light spilled in.  As I stared at the light it changed to a neon lavender…changed as things do when you stare long enough.  And I felt like I could see shadows like people passing in between the room and the door….as if they were in the room but all I saw were the shadows.  I thought perhaps I should stop staring so hard but for some reason I was drawn in.  I wasn’t scared because somehow although I felt like I was actually seeing something, I was seeing nothing.  Now I know that is a strange thing to say, but sometime there just aren’t words for making sense out of the unusual.

A nurse came into the room and asked the family to step out so she could tend to our friend.  As I walked away, I tried to shake the feeling that I had peeked into another world.  I tried to let go because if I was ever to REALLY experience something like that, I wouldn’t want it to be forced.  I wouldn’t want to spin a story from nothing.  And those pulses of light shadows were barely there.  Perhaps I was tricking myself.  Perhaps I wanted something more to happen.

I made it to the end of the hall and sat.  There was a hubbub in the room next to ours.  The family came out to let the nurse know their loved one had passed.  I was stunned.  I couldn’t help but wonder if I was singing the song for him.

Crossing Over

That night, alone in my room, I turned to the journal.  My journal has been one of those things that has been with me through the craziest, most confusing of times and has never let me down. It brings me clarity.  Letting my hand move across the page, I let go of the image above.  The picture is grainy, but I actually prefer that to the crisp lines.  The event was grainy.  It is an in-between life and death, knowing and unknowing, kind of experience. It left my mind curious to see the whole picture, wishing to know if what I sensed was the real deal.

I think  in times like this, in times where something other worldly, super natural, or something of the spirit has happened, you have to make a decision to doubt or just go with it.  Going with it is what I chose to do.  And this is what that means….

I think I sensed the passing of a person from this world into the next.  I think my intuition connected with him and wanted to ferry him to the next part of his journey with that song.  I never knew him….never saw him….but this image feels like it will connect me with him forever. And for that I am grateful.

Do you have a curiosity about spiritual art, intuitive art?  Join me and a host of spiritual creatives for a journey into a place where art means mystery.  Enrollment is open now….Angels In My Studio 2013.  The Magic begins July 22nd. I for one, can’t wait!

art line

Current Workshop: Angels In My Studio 2013

REGISTRATION NOW OPEN……CLICK FOR DETAILS

Before you leave:  Check Out Angels In My Studio…the e-course

Angels in My Studio 2013

Starts soon….would love to take it with you!

Rachel Payne Life Coach

 

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Welcome to CT

Welcome to CT

Hi, I am Rachél.... the quirky, big-hearted soul behind Creativity Tribe, a sanctuary for your creative spirit. As a life coach and artist, I know the importance of community, celebration, and transformation. Creativity Tribe is abuzz with connections to other creative bloggers and offers tips and stories to inspire your creative lifestyle!
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Creative Live Coach

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There is a beauty that comes out of sharing a journey with another person....a dream for yourself, a direction for a project, a way out of the muck that holds your Creative Spirit back. Let's talk about working together. creativitytribe@gmail.com