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Journey of the Inner Wanna Be’s

Following the Heart Home

Heart Journey

In early April I began toying with the idea of Inner Wanna Be’s.  These are the parts of ourselves who wish to find their way out into our extraordinary, animated lives.  I began with the Gypsy Wild Woman Inner Wanna Be, letting her guide me all the way up the middle of the US and back again to my South Texas home.  The ride was spectacular because I let fly a part of myself I had always wished to give wings.

Gypsy Traveler

The Road became my friend during the journey.  It showed me things about myself I never thought I would learn by simply choosing to head out my front door.  The Road, my surprise gift giver.  It revealed my strength, flexibility, resilience, and a core of inner peace.

Travel Creative Road

The Road also became a healing force.  It invited my wounds to come along for the ride, held them before me, and showed my heart how to cradle them in the rocking rhythm of undulating highways that stretched before me.

creative travel sky

The Wild Woman in me took up caring for the heart that the Road encouraged to heal.  She sung out prayers of forgiveness of self and others that had held me in place for years.  The Gypsy called me forward into a new day and a new way.  Together the Gypsy, the Wild Woman, The Road, and I…..we journeyed along.  And when the trip of a lifetime was over, they integrated into me so that they will be with me forever and always.  Home …..anew.

Spirit Whisper

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Before you leave:  Check Out Angels In My Studio

Angels in My Studio 2013

Starts soon….would love to take it with you!

Rachel Payne Life Coach

On the Other Side of Adventure

Life As Journey

I am snuggling up at home these days, cats taking turns with my artist hubby for attention.  I was gone from home for 3 weeks, a record for me.  In my sleeping hours, I am still on a journey, trying to figure out where my bed is.  I slept in so many, I think my body forgot which one was really mine!

I have a thousand stories floating around in my head, like wanting to share with you all the amazing people I met, unfinished poems about the beauty of America writing themselves on my heart, realizations I made about myself and my life along the way, and the freedom of living life a day at a time with few responsibilities.  Some stories won’t get written because life tends to move faster than I can type, other stories will wait to be told for a day when they are more ripe.

For today, though, I want to share some of the pictures and a line or two to help you get a sense of them.  My camera was my buddy for much of the trip.  Sometimes I didn’t know why I was drawn to what I was, for whatever reason, it interested me.  Some pictures were taken from my car en route, most through the windshield.  They are a quick way to share my journey….enJOY!

Barn

america's heartland

Some of my favorite images on the trip were of the farmland and barns.  They reminded me of my youth, my family roots, my mother’s love of working close to the Earth, and of the origins of the food that finds it way to my plate.  Driving through so much of America’s heartland felt like living a moving prayer of gratitude.

beauty fields

The soft grass and skeletal structure of plant life displayed the artistic hand that nature paints with. My eyes were overcome with 3000 miles of beauty.

Mississippi River Bridge

I was fascinated with bridges during the trip. This one crosses the Mississippi into Memphis.

Historic Route 66

This bridge is from Historic Route 66 in Oklahoma.

Lincoln Memorial Bridge -Illinois

Lincoln Memorial Bridge on Illinois River….rainy day.

Geneva 2 112

I was on the road when the attacks on Boston took place.  I was staying with a sweet couple I met through AirBnB and feeling the stress of being far from home and family.  The next day, my journey took a wrong turn which ended up with me pulling into the entrance of the  Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery.  I took it as an opportunity to show my gratitude for freedom and for those who have been part of weaving it together.

Rachel Payne on Road

There are so many more pictures to show and stories to tell of my adventures on the road.  But for now, I am working on getting back into the swing of home life again.  That’s one thing I learned along the way, for sure.  Life keeps moving and so do you!  Make the best of where you are in the moment, know where you are headed and take with you the experience and grace of where you have been and remember…All is Well.

Keep creating!

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On the Edge of the Woods

Postcard Road

I have been visiting some amazing homes with even more amazing people.  Each day that I share with someone, I just delight in the path that life can take us on.  I am in St. Louis today, having just driven in last night from Marseilles, Illinois where I was staying with my artist-friend, Amy Cavaness.

Rachel Payne Amy Cavaness

Amy’s home is tucked away into a little patch of woods out in the country.  Before I left, I made a video (below) in which I shared some of my thoughts about my Inner Gypsy Wild Woman and left an simple way for you to connect with your Inner Wanna Be. I would love to hear more about what wishes to share itself with the world.  I can tell you from personal experience, it is liberating!

Did you know I have a YouTube Channel…..

Creativity Tribe on YouTube

When Life Makes Other Plans

Gypsy Self Banner

Today marks a week that I have been on the road making my way from South Texas to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for the Creatives Celebrating Sisterhood Art Retreat.  I will be teaching a workshop at the retreat called Passport to Dreams Come True.  The workshop takes mixed media techniques and blends them with bookmaking, journaling, creative visualization as a means of helping flesh out the vision and plans of our big hearts. Not surprisingly, as is the case often in life, my journey cross country is giving me lots of lessons to prepare me for helping others make their dreams a reality.

One of the dilemmas that comes out of saying we want to attract or create something in our lives is that life is good at throwing you a ringer.  We say to ourselves, “I want to accomplish XYZ, and I can see that if I do A+B+C that will get me there.”   Then, life alters the equation, and we are left trying to get things balanced without losing our original goal.

I started my trip out with destinations along the way up to Wisconsin.  First a few stops in Texas, then Oklahoma.  When I got to Oklahoma there was some trouble in paradise.  Something in my suspension went haywire.  I was bouncing an grooving all over the road.  No, fun.  I questioned if I should get it fixed, give up and turn back.  That is when I called on my Inner Wanna Be….the Gypsy Wild Woman.

I asked myself how she would manage this.  In my imagination a gypsy carries their home with them.  There would be no reason to turn back because where they were is where they should be.  I also imagined she wouldn’t be afraid to ask for help.  And so I did.  And the world responded with generosity.  My timeline was altered slightly, but in the end, I was able to get to my next destination.

The journey didn’t look like I thought it would. I imagined I would travel during the day with plenty of time to rest and with the option to look around the next new place before turning in.  Instead, I traveled at night with rain and lightening clearing the way for me.  I drove safely but didn’t stop very often because I felt a pull to get in and get settled.  Although that may sound frantic, it wasn’t.  I had plenty of good tunes to keep me company.

Behind the scenes, too, I was not alone.  I think this is going to be the big lesson of this journey I am taking by myself.  I am never alone really.  The day I was trying to get my car fixed, one thing after another put off the work.  It was my birthday, and I asked friends and family….and the Creativity Tribe Facebook Page gathering…..to focus my birthday wishes on getting it fixed and me safely to my next destination.  They did. And I made it.

At breakfast this morning at the Walnut Street Inn in downtown Springfield, Missouri, I was greeted by 9 couples who travel B and B’s yearly.  “Are you Rachél?” they asked.  I was delighted, a room full of strangers who knew my name.  “We were looking for you last night.” My heart was warmed.  Never alone.

And so, today starts out with a meet-up that happened spontaneously through the Creativity Tribe FB page.   Here in Springfield, I am meeting with Ginger Davis Allman with The Blue Bottle Tree .  Then, I leave for St. Louis where I will stay with someone I have never met through AirBnB.  I am expecting to feel that same sense of welcoming from the world each day and to give it where it is needed.  I think my Gypsy Wild Woman makes her way through life like that.  It isn’t part of the journey I expected, but I am delighting in it, leaning into it, and loving it…..even when, and especially when life makes other plans.

Follow my travels more closely by joining me on the Creativity Tribe Facebook Page.

Rachel_Payne

 

Lessons from the Road

Lessons 2

This week I packed up my world, grabbed my favorite artist man, and left my hometown in South Texas behind.  We have stayed with family and friends along the way.

I am traveling in celebration of my Inner Gypsy Wild Woman, that part of me that has always wished to vagabond around with flowing skirts, bangles up my arms, leaving a trail of creativity behind. Wisconsin is my destination for an Art Retreat I will be teaching.

As I have made my way up to Dallas (where my artist hubby, Eric, and I are staying now) I have made mental notes about how traveling in my Gypsy personae changes the journey.

Merry Rachelee

My first lesson is about giving and receiving.

Being a guest raises some discomfort for me, no matter how gracious the hostess. I just hate putting people out.  But when I set my fears aside, I know that the offers of help, the free meals, the comfy bed, and invitations to share life for a few days is really what connecting is about.  It is how we tell others we care about them. It is how we bless one another.

Along my journey (up closer to Chicago) I will be staying with Helen Bond of Motherland Rhythm Community and the Benkadi Project, who I met when she was touring the U.S. doing drum workshops.  Helen shared that her travels to West Africa taught her a similar lesson.  She told stories of how the villagers didn’t understand her inclination to spend time along as Westerners are apt to do.  They worried she was ill.  I have other friends whose travels took them out of the country to other cultures where time alone was thought of in the same way.

This lesson of the Gypsy Wild Woman to find blessings in connecting with others and even counting on others along the way feels innately good.  When I can put aside the part that thinks I need to play small and be totally self-sufficient, the giving feels soothing and healing.

This trip has brought out the giving in others as well (and that too can be a blessings….to be the giver).  I have had friends, family, and strangers contribute to my journey.  Sometimes it is with food or money, services, travel tips and personal stories.  Who am I to deny their giving….their opportunity to bless and be blessed.

So I am leaning into the giving.  I am soaking in the spirit of sharing.  I practice standing or sitting solidly in my body, connecting to the Earth, and taking in the goodness offered.

Sunshine Flower

Journey of the Inner Wanna Be’s

Exploring the Lessons:  If you are curious about your Inner Wanna Be, begin asking it to share its wisdom with you.  Record it in some way, either in your journal, with a video or a blog post. If you feel like sharing, add it to the Inner Wanna Be page (at the bottom where the linky is.)  I would love for you to take an inner journey with me as I make the journey up the middle of the US with my Gypsy Wanna Be.

Interesting in the other activities we are doing to engage the IWB?  Head over to the Creative Activities and Prompts Page for the full list.

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Standing in the Threshold

Giftquote

At the Threshold of a Journey

Anytime we poise ourselves at the beginning of a journey, either in the outer physical world or from within, we begin with an idea in mind of how we might approach our movement from where we are to where we wish to go.  There are the imagined obstacles we anticipate, various options for the course traveled, milestones we hope to reach, and some desired destination that just might be worth risking disappointment for the joy it could bring.  All of this is the beauty and danger of the In-between.

Should I stay or should I go, now? (You know the song!)

As I prepare for my cross country trip to Wisconsin, I am becoming evermore aware of the bounds within myself that this trek will challenge.  Fears rise up.  Doubts sit in my stomach.  Hurdles appear in my mind.  My spirited imagination can be both the life and death of my dreams.  I suppose the question becomes, then, what will navigate the vehicle my imagination fuels.  Will fear take me into the pitfalls and stall my voyage?  Or will I move through the vulnerability, however clumsily, for the sake of the movement itself. The inclination to abandon ship is sometimes strong.  Such a long journey, so many unanswered questions, so many uncertainties…. and yet! What is life without the occasional odyssey?!

Old Building 058

“We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.”
Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 7: 1966-1974

I am determined to make vulnerability my friend these next three weeks.  I am learning that it is the life partner of courage. I have lots more to say about that, but I am keeping it close to my heart for now as it blooms into a deeper understanding of who I am, what I desire, what stands in my way, and what degree of uncertainty I am willing to withstand for the possibility of reaching the fulfillment I shoot for.

I know some of you have decided to take the Journey of the Inner Wanna Be with me.  I have been so delighted to have other Creatives declare their interest in playing along.  We really are a small but growing band of seekers!  I use the word play here because I feel there is a sense of make-believe we are engaging in when we explore the archetypes that make up the IWB’s, but at the same time, I know that something monumental can come from that examination.  Play has amazing curative properties. So don’t be surprised if you find yourself face to face with opportunities to bring real change to your life as you explore this make-believe aspect of self.  It may live initially in the imagination, but somewhere along the way you may find room for aspects of  it in your real life.  It is this dynamic that makes me call this kind of exploration Creative Sacred Play.

iwb inspire

Are you taking the Journey of the Inner Wanna Be’s?

We are several days into the Journey but still definitely in our preparation phase. I leave this Sunday for my trip.  If you wish to go on the journey and explore your personal Inner Wanna Be’s, here is a quick list of steps to catch you up.

  1. Make a list of your Inner Wanna Be’s.  Follow the link for a full description of this Creative Activity.
  2. Invite your friends and family to do the same.  This is optional but loads of fun.  The video is a great jumping off point for getting a sense of the event.
  3. Choose one IWB from the list you created that you are going to explore for the rest of April.  Place it lovingly in the comments below.
  4. Begin “dreaming on” or contemplating the IWB you chose as the weekend goes on.  Don’t force it, just let it share itself with you.

Now, dive into the vulnerable and list your IWB in the comments. I can’t wait to for you to join us!

Rachel_Payne

Witnessing Discovery

Discovery

I love witnessing discovery! 

The best part of Creativity Tribe is the work I do with Creatives who find their way into the projects I offer.  Sometimes it happens in a coaching session or on one of the Party Line calls, but most recently I have been connecting during preparation for the Journey of the Inner Wanna Be project.

A peek into the project so far…

Below you will find a video.  Before you watch it, I want to share with you the process that went into making it.  The individuals you will see are folks from my hometown.  I consider them (and many others) my local Creativity Tribe.  Some are long-time friends, some new; some are even family.  All are courageously sharing with you and the world little glimpses into their inner world.

Art Opening

In the video you will see handmade signs much like the ones I held up in my video from yesterday’s creative activity kick-off post. What you don’t see in the video is the conversation that took place as the signs were being put together and after the video was complete.  Imagine a table at a cafe filled with people sharing fond memories of wishes gently tucked aside or screw ball ideas about how life might be lived paired with a true desire to throw caution to the wind and be that wild character they think they should only dream about. Imagine two loved ones revealing to one another aspects of their personality that they had never thought of sharing before and planting the seeds of conversation that supports one another’s deepest becoming.

Lisa

Loss for words…

I tell you, I love to write, but moments like the ones I have had in just these beginning explorations of the Journey of the Inner Wanna Be have left me searching for more accurate ways to explain them.  The best I can do is to encourage you to experience what I did for yourself.  Tell your friends and family about this project.  Feel free to say you heard about it from a lady on the internet who is a bit unorthodox, who is doing something (as my father says) that is a bit far fetched.  Then invite them to “go there” with you.

What if you could be anything?  What if you could name the kind of life you would lead if there were no rules?  What would you call that life role?  What archetype would you explore?  No holds barred.

Have them make signs or even index cards to share with you.  Video tape them or just talk about them.  Who knows what discoveries you will witness!

If you do decide to make a video, please feel free to share it on our Inner Wanna Be page.  The more the merrier!

Want more creative activities to inspire your Inner Wanna Be?  I will be updating the IWB Activities and Prompts page as the journey plays out. Feel free to explore all or just the ones that call to you.

Rachel_Payne

Gathering the Inner Wanna Be’s

iwb banner blog

 

It starts today….prep for the Journey of the Inner Wanna Be’s.  A month’s worth of peering inward to see what wishes to come forth into our lives….what wishes to be played out….what is willing to risk being a little vulnerable for the sake of finally going “there”.  Who knows what will come of our social experiment.  Here we are, a bunch of people in love with the idea of being creative, deciding to play What-If together.

What if I indulged this thing I always wished of being and brought a bit of it into my life?  What if I stopped hiding behind what I should or shouldn’t do and when out on a limb to do what I WISH to do?  What if I did it with other people who were risking just like me?  What if….

The great thing about this journey is that it can be as simple or intense as you would like.  Want to mostly just dream of your Inner Wanna Be’s and claim ONE DAY out of the month to put that into action?  Great!  Want to journal daily and push yourself to see what a month of playing out your fantasy in some way would be like?  Go for it!  Perhaps you just want to watch as other creatives dive in….there is room for you too.  The Creativity Tribe Inner Wanna Be Gypsy Caravan is big enough for all!

star you are

Preparation: Exploring Your IWB’s

We start by going inward and asking what of yourself wishes to be known.

  • You can do that by finding a quiet space free from interruption.
  • Keep pen and a pad of paper or journal (perhaps one you will keep all your IWB journaling in) close by.
  • Close your eyes and get comfortable.
  • Say to yourself something like this…..I am thinking about those parts of myself that never really got a chance in the spot light, parts that I haven’t made space for in my life.  I wish to name them and recognize them now.
  • Let your mind drift around as you remember interests you have had, archetypes you have resonated with, and character types you have dreamed of being.  Let yourself dream on this for a bit.
  • When you feel like your heart and mind have explored your Inner Wanna Be’s, let you hand begin listing them on the page.  Try not to edit the process.  Let the list be impractical, fantastical, and improbable …as well as authentic.
  • Once you have listed your IWB’s, consider sharing them with the group on the IWB page.  You can do so as part of a blog post or as a video response to the video below.

Rachél’s Inner Wanna Be’s

 

Rachel_Payne

My Redonkulous Birthday Bash

Events  I am sort of in LOVE with April.  First of all, it is my birthday month, and I have a tendency to stretch my celebrations out a bit.  But I am going to redonkulous links to make this year’s birthday celebrations stand out!  How am I doing it?  I am bringing to life the dream that I had as a wee lass of being a Gypsy Wild Woman.

It’s kind of silly, I know.  I turn 44 in 14 days and all I care about is playing out my Gypsy Wanna Be.  What’s even sillier though (and I love how delightfully wonderful this is), I am not doing it alone!  I have already been joined by a circle of local creatives who are exploring their Inner Wanna Be’s with me (oh, geez! I can hardly wait to show you the great video we put together!!!) And…. I am hoping as I go along on my nearly 3000 mile road trip that others will join the festivities.  (And I especially have my fingers crossed that one of them will be YOU!)

Image by Ann Marie

 

I leave on my trip to Wisconsin in 6 days, headed up for the Creatives Celebrating Sisterhood Art Retreat where I will be teaching my Passport to Dreams Come True Class.  I am busy in the studio this week getting supplies together and whipping up a few special giveaways to share once I get there.  I am also beginning to contemplate the Inner Wanna Be I chose to breathe life into during the trip. I have a special video about that coming out tomorrow. (wink)

Being a Gypsy isn’t the ONLY part of myself that hides just beneath the surface.  I have lots of Inner Wanna Be’s (IWB’s).  We all do in fact.  Sometimes we just aren’t in a place to live out some aspect of ourselves.  Perhaps our creativity feels challenged by our environment or some aspect of our culture keeps us from fulling living out what is inside….whatever the reason, that part of ourselves goes underground.

Over the course of the next 4 weeks, I want to invite you to explore your IWB’s, choose one to make a journey with, and invite it to come out to play.  “What’s the payoff?”, you may wonder.   I think at the very least, exploring an aspect of yourself in a creative way can help you grow your Creative Confidence.  And who knows, you may discover a pathway to more heart-felt way of living.

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Staying In Touch

I am planning on keeping in touch during my trip by updating the blog with posts, pictures and videos throughout the month of April and a wrap-up after the trip.  I would love for you to interact with me.  Hey!  It might get lonely out on the road!

I have created a page just for that purpose.  This is how it will work….

  1. I will be sharing my post on the blog page and occasionally offering opportunities for you to explore your own IWB, through a journal prompt, creative activity, or perhaps a suggested video topic. (First one tomorrow!)
  2. I would love for you to create a post with that and leave a link to your post on the IWB’s page. Don’t forget to place a link to my page in your post so others know where to find you.
  3. You can follow highlights from other Creativity Tribe Inner Wanna Be’s by visiting the page and clicking through to the links at the bottom.  Leave a bit of encouragement behind, letting them know you have visited.
  4. I will also have a badge for those of you who want to get serious about playing with their IWB’s and would like their world to know it.  (Coming soon!)

If you want to make sure you don’t miss anything, make sure you subscribe to the blog for updates.

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Rachel_Payne

Full Moon Meditation

Body Wisdom Project

I have been watching the Moon.  That is what I do, I am a Moon Gazer.  She is getting closer to full.  I love watching her wax and wane.  It reminds me of our impermanence, of our ability to change, and that for more years than we know, our ancestors have looked to the skies and felt the movement of Mystery in their lives…just as we do.  The Moon is one of my very favorite parts of this life.

The Moon reaches fullness today.  During the Moon’s course from dark to full and dark again each Moonth in 2013, I have committed to focusing on a word chosen by myself and my dear friend Jessica of WildWood Naturals. We are naming the Moon according to the word we are centering on.  We call this one Reflection Moon.

Reflection Moon

Tonight on the way home from a Coaching Session, I stopped the water to sit with the Moon.  The sky was completely cloudless and the water calm.  I felt like I was in a movie. Perfect.

The light of the Moon reflected on the water, reminding me of the Body Wisdom Project word for the month.  I slowed myself down and got comfortable.  Reflection….I went inward.  So much busy-ness bubbled around inside.  I thought of the water and invited myself to get calm.  Looked up at the moon and asked what of myself wished to grow into fullness.

My breath fell into a rhythm, my heart keeping a quiet beat.  A nuance came over me…a feeling.  It seemed to be showing me that my spiritual life wished to grow into fullness.  When I named it…spiritual life…in my mind, my inner knowing-ness responded with a feeling of peace.

The road trip I am taking in April is leading me to a fuller spiritual life.  For me, like with everything, creativity is at the heart of my spiritual life.  I look forward to watching it take shape.

I would love for you to reflect on what wishes to come to fullness in your life. Leave a comment letting us know. When you claim something in writing or out loud, it gives it strength and energy.  If you don’t claim it here, consider giving it voice somewhere in your world.

Are you interested in joining me for the Journey of the Inner Wanna Be’s… an inward exploration of those parts of ourselves we don’t often let out to play?  I will be engaging my Gypsy Wanna Be, but your Inner Wanna Be choice is up to you.   Be sure to keep visiting over the next week, I have some super fun parts of the event planned!

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Rachel_Payne

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Welcome to CT

Hi, I am Rachél.... the quirky, big-hearted soul behind Creativity Tribe, a sanctuary for your creative spirit. As a life coach and artist, I know the importance of community, celebration, and transformation. Creativity Tribe is abuzz with connections to other creative bloggers and offers tips and stories to inspire your creative lifestyle!
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There is a beauty that comes out of sharing a journey with another person....a dream for yourself, a direction for a project, a way out of the muck that holds your Creative Spirit back. Let's talk about working together. creativitytribe@gmail.com