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Womb-Moon Wisdom Meditation

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I sat with the Moon last night.  It was full and wrapped in the clouds that brought a quenching rain the morning before.  I tuned in to my body.  It is changing as women’s bodies do.  For the last 6 months or so during the Wednesday night meditation group I attend with Rev. Shar Schwengler of the Lucid Waking Radio Show on A2Zen.fm, my body has been talking to me.  I began with exploring the stories that lived in various parts of my body.

There is the old hitch in my giddy up (my lower back) that flares up occasionally that reminds me of a bad fall I had in my late twenties that led to years of physical and emotional discomfort, the scar tissue on my right arm from getting it caught in an elevator when I was in kindergarten (sounds much worse than it was), the swelling that sometimes happens in my right ankle.  They all have stories to go with them….stories about what happened, what I think happened, and what the injury makes me think of.

Shar has been encouraging us to let go of the story and to work with the pains that come up emotionally and physically in a more energetic way.  It has taken me a long time to understand what she means, but I am catching on.  Sometimes I can let the story float away and imagine a glowing light attending to the area of focus.  The less I try to make something happen, the more profound the release.

Sitting with the Full Moon tonight, I sent my attention to the stories that float around in my Womb.  They probably aren’t much different than the stories that other women find there.  Themes of fertility and abundance, creativity and safety, of connecting with others and with the Divine Feminine.

full moon mystery

This has been the seat of most of my body work this Summer.  It has been difficult work, deeply personal, but so valuable.  The Moonlight flooded my Womb and illuminated areas that needed a bit of love and understanding.  Stephen Levine in his book Guided Meditations, Explorations, and Healings suggests that healing consists of inviting mercy and understanding into the mind and body.

And so, I invited the Moon to hold that space for me tonight. I drew its light into my body and asked it to illuminate that great sacred center of creativity.  As I did, I felt my body and heart give into its sense of support and deep understanding of the rhythmic wisdoms I have played out over the course of my life and will continue to explore until the end of my days.  I allowed its light to bless my little girl Womb of the past, the Womb that wished for children, the Womb that decided not to conceive of human life in the end but revels in a deeper form of creating ( a creative of life….made of ideas, relationships, new beginnings, and exquisite possibilities), and finally the wise Womb that is more than a physical uterus and more like the energetic home for all I hold sacred of being a Womb-in (woman).

Each layer of my life as a female drenched in lunar lusciousness until every cell, every thought, every nuance glowed.

creativity prompt

While the Moon is in its fullness, set some time aside to do your own Womb-Moon Wisdom Meditation.  If you are a male, consider the value of imagining a symbolic Womb….a home, a vessel for your creativity.  Simply connect with its light, either in the openness of the night’s sky or in the comfort of your home (perhaps you might like to connect outside and do the meditation inside.)  Once you are comfortable, draw the Moon’s light into your Womb and listen for the Womb and the Moon to guide a journey together.  Know that whatever happens is just right.  This is your meditation, your body, and your healing.

 Creatively yours…

Rachel Payne Life Coach

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A Sense of imBalance

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My life has gotten out of balance….literally.  Last week I somehow twisted my knee.  I woke up one day to tightness, mild swelling, and an unstable joint.  When I wanted to walk, I had to hop and stoop to get around.  I am still all bent up.  The pain isn’t bad.  It just doesn’t really work right.  Needless to say, I am jumping into self-care mode to help get my knee what it needs.

This afternoon I am headed to the chiropractor; tomorrow, a massage.  Even with that though, I think the quirk in my knee must be less about something physical and more about something desiring more balance in my life.

That is why during my meditation this weekend I have explored where the imbalance comes from.  You see, I am learning that imbalance is an invitation to a new level of balance.  I don’t think it has to be that something is wrong as much as that there is a new something right trying to make its way into life.

My meditation connected me with a time when I was completely immobilized with severe back pain. Same thing then, no apparent episode to blame it on, just woke with it!  I remember knowing then that if I was ever to have better use of my body that I wanted to dance.  I needed to dance….not for the sake of my body, but for my overall well-being. Dancing celebrates my body.  It is a moving affirmation of a part of me that for much of society doesn’t fit.

Dance

I am a big, curvy girl.  I have been since the third grade.  Something shifted in my existence that year, and I went from a small child to a large child.  I have spent a good portion of my life fighting against the negative spin our society, culture, the media, and even well-meaning loved ones throw out about anyone who doesn’t have the perfect body. Sometimes I am tricked into thinking that only curvy bodies have to contend with this, but I know that there are very few women and even very few men who love their bodies and accept them.  How can that be?

Yesterday my husband made a list of reasons why he thought I should read a book. He said I had a lot in common with the author.  He is so cute. He even made a list.  At the bottom of the list of how I was like her, he wrote that I was an advocate for body acceptance.  I didn’t know he saw me as that.  I am an advocate for many things, but for body acceptance, I think I could up my game.

That is the new balance for me….affirming my body in all its roundness, with all its pudgy places, with its twisted up knee, its little mole on my wrist that grows a single thin hair out of it til it is long enough for me to pluck it away, for the lines that are stretching out along the soft flesh below my eyes, and the small but very present age spots that have found their way to the back of my left hand.

I am celebrating you too.  You, fat…You, thin….You, sagging….You, graying….You, bleeding or not….You, barren or bursting with child….You, tired and goofy or graceful and glowing….You, You, You….in every glory of every realness of You!

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Mother’s Day: By Nature or Nurture

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Whether you are a mother by nature or nurture, I wish you a beautiful Mother’s Day.  Today is the perfect day to honor all the ways you give to others but is especially good for connecting with how you mother yourself during the year.

I have decided to shake Mother’s Day up a bit.  Even though I don’t have children, I have always felt an extremely strong sense of Motherhood.  I am a champion of children (both young and old) and take pride in the fact that I can create safety for others to be the best they can be.  I also feel myself going through the birthing process with all the many projects that are conceived in my heart and imagination.

This year, I decided to start a new personal practice. On Mother’s Day, I am going to celebrate the Mother in me.  I don’t have a specific plan.  Instead, each year I will check in on what I need.   Perhaps it will be to reflect on how I have nurtured others during the year, how I might like to make mothering a part of the year to come, or even to create a celebration with symbols that are meaningful to me.

Grandmother Hummingbird

My husband woke me up this morning telling me, “You have heard of Mother Nature, right?  Well, I think you must be Mother Nurture.”  It was a dear gift.  So whether you are Mother Nature, Mother Nurture or a bit of both, I would like to invite you to join me in honoring the mother in you.  I know for many women Mother’s Day is a day to be honored by others, but I think honoring ourselves can be just as valuable.

Keep Creating….

Rachel_Payne

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