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Re-story-ing my Life

IWB tour 060

I made it up the middle of the country.  I am sitting on beautiful Lake Geneva in Wisconsin, looking out the window at the Abbey Resort.  The sky is light blue with puffy little clouds, the water simmers with a restless kind of calm.  The trees outside my room (which are not a variety I am familiar with) have long strands of gold that hang from the limbs.  At there base on the side where the morning sun has not yet reached, a light layer of snow snuggles around budding stalks of green that looks like it may be the beginnings of blooming bulbs.

I feel like I am blooming.  The journey here has marinated my heart in a mix of stories from my past and about my future all while I live this new story in the present.  I am learning so much about myself.  I am falling so deeply in love with who I am that it scares me.  Why is it that love can frighten us so.

seeking wisdom

I turned 44 a few days ago and as I have shared here before, I have been re-story-ing my life.  When I was young, I lost my mother. She died at 45 and although I have tried to let that number mean nothing in my own life, it has some hold on me.  This year I am bound and determined to make it a year I will never forget, so that even if nothing were to happen to me….and I believe on most levels that I will be just fine….I will have NO REGRETS.  I will know I gave myself the callings of my heart whenever I could, that I connected deeply with the ones I loved and with the ones life put in my path. I will know I danced, I wrote, I played, prayed, and embraced joy at ever turn.

My word for the year is GIFT….and that is what I intend to be for others and myself this year.

I have more to share, but the day is so beautiful I just have to go embrace it.

I want to invite you to think about the story you are living in your life.  What of it would you change if you could?  Now, do one small thing to put that into action today.  I am living this year as if it was my last so that I don’t have to be fearful that it might be. I encourage you to lean into life.  If you are like me, you will find some peace in living life a bit more adventurously because you might find yourself taking it in more fully and deeply.  Nothing ventured nothing gained?  I am venuring!!!

Rachel_Payne

 

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12 Comments
  1. WOW!! yOU CERTAINLY HAVE A GIFT OF “WORDAGE”, IF THAT IS INDEED A WORD. Loved reading about your description of the Abbey! You are a gift to many I’m sure!! So glad I met you…..Jennifer from Illinois

    • Thanks, Jennifer! I do love to write. I had a gifted teacher in middle school who brought it out. Now it is part of who I am. Glad to share it.

  2. I am sitting here smiling. Your post is beautiful. I can feel your heart swell with joy as I read it. I am so happy for you. May this year be filled with everything you hope for. xoxo

    • Lori, thank you for the birthday wishes. I am grateful to have you with me on the journey!

  3. It was so wonderful to meet you in Lake Geneva! I am very happy that you are falling so deeply in love with yourself! It seems that you mission of healing others is also healing yourself!!

    • Ahhhhh, Mary! You offered me a big gift this birthday week, huh?! Words to frame my vision! Thank you!

  4. You are NOT 44! You couldn’t possibly be! I’ve seen you up close! Seriously, I had you pegged for mid 30’s at the very most. I’m so glad you’re having this wonderful experience. You are so full of happy positivity and creative energy that I can’t think of a better person for this growth to happen to. You completely deserve it.

    • Wow, Ginger! I will take it! Meeting you was a delightful part of my trip. I can still sense you glowing smile.

  5. This was such a great post to read! I am truly happy for you, Rachel! You should be proud of yourself for taking risks and living your best life! I have been feeling the call to live a bit more adventurously myself. 🙂

    • Ooooo, Stacie! I would love to hear what more adventurously looks like to you. Go for it. The fear is such an illusion. I have been wondering what the big deal was….so many little hang ups that kept me stuck.

  6. SEASTAR, I am proud like a mama, proud like sister at all that you are doing on this liferoad journey. Enjoy, Enjoy all that this adventure has to offer.

    • Rosemary, you know you have been on this journey with me….in my heart….as always!

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