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Posts Tagged aging

Re-story-ing my Life

IWB tour 060

I made it up the middle of the country.  I am sitting on beautiful Lake Geneva in Wisconsin, looking out the window at the Abbey Resort.  The sky is light blue with puffy little clouds, the water simmers with a restless kind of calm.  The trees outside my room (which are not a variety I am familiar with) have long strands of gold that hang from the limbs.  At there base on the side where the morning sun has not yet reached, a light layer of snow snuggles around budding stalks of green that looks like it may be the beginnings of blooming bulbs.

I feel like I am blooming.  The journey here has marinated my heart in a mix of stories from my past and about my future all while I live this new story in the present.  I am learning so much about myself.  I am falling so deeply in love with who I am that it scares me.  Why is it that love can frighten us so.

seeking wisdom

I turned 44 a few days ago and as I have shared here before, I have been re-story-ing my life.  When I was young, I lost my mother. She died at 45 and although I have tried to let that number mean nothing in my own life, it has some hold on me.  This year I am bound and determined to make it a year I will never forget, so that even if nothing were to happen to me….and I believe on most levels that I will be just fine….I will have NO REGRETS.  I will know I gave myself the callings of my heart whenever I could, that I connected deeply with the ones I loved and with the ones life put in my path. I will know I danced, I wrote, I played, prayed, and embraced joy at ever turn.

My word for the year is GIFT….and that is what I intend to be for others and myself this year.

I have more to share, but the day is so beautiful I just have to go embrace it.

I want to invite you to think about the story you are living in your life.  What of it would you change if you could?  Now, do one small thing to put that into action today.  I am living this year as if it was my last so that I don’t have to be fearful that it might be. I encourage you to lean into life.  If you are like me, you will find some peace in living life a bit more adventurously because you might find yourself taking it in more fully and deeply.  Nothing ventured nothing gained?  I am venuring!!!

Rachel_Payne

 

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