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Because I Said I Would… Building Self-Trust

Because I Said I Would…Building Self-Trust

radiate with life meditation

We are all on a journey of some sort.  Living the Creative Life is about looking inside and seeing where your journey is leading you. Recently, my journey has reminded me about the value of building self-trust.  Building self-trust is a powerful gift for a Creative to give themselves because it often means they can more fully share their gifts with the World.

Tips for Building Self-Trust

Here is one of my favorite tips to help Creatives stand up and say to themselves and to the World…. I am doing it because I said I would.

Start a Conversation

In college as I was studying theatre, I discovered how powerful it could be to have a conversation on paper with myself when I wasn’t so sure I could follow through on my ideas or keep my commitments to myself and others.  Inside my journal, I would begin a deep talk from the part of myself that needed to be heard and let another part hear them out, even going so far as to answer the first part back in the voice of a loving, nurturing parent or creative guide.  Over time, I began to have those conversations more subtly in my head, and now, they are part of my daily self-awareness.  Occasionally, when I get stuck in the I-can’t’s or I’ll-put-it-off-til-tomorrow’s, I get real with myself on paper.  And then I dive into trying to understand the stuck part by listening from a place of love and compassion.  I began calling them Inner World Conversations.

The Inner World Conversations go something like this….

 

First inner voice: I am not sure about this. I know I said I would do it... but it just might be too much for me. I am not sure I will stick with it over the long haul. And what will happen if I give up or worse, What if......they hate me? ... Second inner voice: I know this is something important to you. You felt so honored to be invited to this super special project. They must have known how super special you are. All those fears and worries are a normal part of growing. But so is saying yes to your heart. I hope you will say yes. I will be here the whole way to help you figure out what is the next right step.

If you would like to build your because I said I would Self-Trust Muscle, get in touch with the Reluctant Part inside by starting your own Inner World Conversation. Begin by using two different pens, one for each inner voice.  Ask yourself what the Reluctant Part (the fearful, stuck, little, hurt, unsure part) of you needs to say, and then invite that part to share.  When you feel you have expressed the first layer of what you need to say, stop and read it back to yourself.  Don’t edit.  Don’t over think.  Pick up the other pen and invite the Heart-Centered Part (loving, compassionate, listening, peace-making part) of yourself to respond in a supportive way.

The back and forth can go on several times as the Reluctant Part finds a sense of being able to fully express itself and the Heart-Centered Part discovers how to help it feel heard and supported. The goal isn’t necessarily to make yourself do something, it is to build trust with yourself.  As a Creative, the more you foster a space of listening for difficult emotions like fear, doubt, and worry, the more you can likely build an Inner World that helps shift those emotions to deeper levels of peace, enthusiasm, passion, and ease.  This can help shift an automatic kind of living to an intentional, self-supportive way of being.  Lots of magic happens there!

Share Your Self-Trust Ah-ha’s

I would love to hear your ah-ha’s around self-trust.  Do you find yourself struggling there?  If not, what are your secrets to building your because I said I would Self-Trust Muscle?  Let’s continue the conversation in the comments.

build the tribe. spread the vibe. read. comment. share.

Rachel Payne with Creativity Tribe. Life Coach, Expressive Arts Facilitator, artist, spirituality, creativity

Blogging at the Speed of Life

new life

Sitting in front of the computer, I don’t know where to start.  Blogging has been the most dedicated practice I have ever had in my life and the last 6 months Life pushed me off my game so I could pay attention to it.  This Summer I got sick and discovered I had uterine cancer.  It took awhile for me to get the surgery that was recommended.  But Life has its way of moving you into what is important. Its trick:  The more I needed to slow down, the less my computer worked.  I was pulled far from my blogging life.

Surgery behind me now….Today I woke up at 4:40 a.m. missing this space so much.  I grabbed my laptop and headed out for Sandi’s Diner.  Sandi is a dear friend who makes a mean breakfast at the break of dawn.   AND, also has internet.  SCORE!

 

The big question….would my computer work there?  Was something wrong with my internet or with my laptop.  If you are reading this, you will know the answer.  What was impossible at home is working like magic here.  Maybe life is just letting me loose.  Saying, go…spread your wings…you are free.

And that is how I feel these days.  Free.

I spent last month traveling back and forth to Houston’s MD Anderson, a world class cancer hospital that happens to be in my area of the world.  My hubby, Eric, went with me and several times we comment how we felt wrong for having such a good time at the hospital.  But they must have someone trained with running big places like Disney working there because it ran like a theme park.  I like to joke that they have a game you play there….take off your clothes, put them back on…take off your clothes, put them back on…and I was winning.  Yep, lots of tests.  Then the surgery.  And just last week, a check-up.

womb doodle

They feel like my prognosis is really good.  It doesn’t seem to have spread. YAY!  So they will keep an eye on my health every 3-4 months.

I chose the word THRIVE as my word of the year for 2014.  That’s what I am doing!

I have some catch up to do for Creativity Tribe.  My email has been down.  I hope to have that working in the next week.  If you tried to contact me and didn’t hear back from me…it was a little email snatching gremlin.

Big beautiful hugs to each of you.

Rachel Payne life creativity coach

The Blessing of a Year

2014 banner

I love this year, this 2014.  I think that is a strange thing to feel, though…love for a year that has yet to take off. But perhaps what I really feel is deep, abiding hope and compelling possibility.

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I felt this same way at the beginning of 2013.  My imagination was alive with amazing projects that were ripe for springing to life. But the year had other things in store for me. It held the secret of forced healings in areas of my life I had pushed aside as I charged forward in my career as a Life Coach and Creativity Guide.

As I write this, I am tempted to throw all my realizations, wisdom, and stories out for you to witness. But this year has been so personal and so magical that sharing it feels like shining a bright spotlight on something better served by cradling it up close to the shadowy protection of a subtle internal light….the light of one’s own heart.

peace face rachel payne

The important part to take from my year, if you want to take anything at all, is that those shadowy, difficult times when life throws challenges your way can be the answers to the wishes you have been making for yourself with that still, quiet voice you can barely hear.  We all have those deep yearnings whispered when we look at the places within ourselves that cry out for peace or release.  Sometimes growing into all we want for ourselves must come from personal healing and soul searching.

life is a journey

And so, for me 2013 brought huge shifts into deeper understanding, forgiveness, acceptance, and celebration through paths I never would have called in consciously.  But am grateful for none the less.

And 2014?

It will wrap up some of those realizations and help me put a bow on the big package filled with 2013’s blessing, but will also leave space for me to pick up and re-examine those original amazing projects.  Some will fall away, having lost their energy, others will rise to the top for me to cultivate with a new, inspired perspective.

In these first days of the new year, I welcome the balance of both.  I am still toying with this fresh place while reaching for the great heights I see myself shooting for.

I hope this in-between time finds you contemplating what last year meant for you while throwing seeds broadly into the months ahead.

Happy New Year, Creative Spirits!  

May it be blessed by all it brings your way!

Rachel Payne life creativity coach

And the Winner Is…..

spiritofgiving

 

When we give, we get….and I feel like this giveaway has been a huge gift for me.  What a lovely pouring out of interest in this course!  Your stories, your desire to connect with your creativity and spirituality is beautiful.  It makes me fall in love with life!

Enough gushing though….here is what you came for!

The winner of the Angels In My Studio 2013 Giveaway is Loz.  Your name and email will be shared with Sheri Ponzi over at Painting Herself Into Being for acceptance into the course.  Congratulations!

Angels In My Studio 2013

If you didn’t win, take heart. That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the angel loveliness.  Registration opens June 8th.

 I will be looking for each of you and hope you can make it happen.  It is amazing what the Universe will bring your way when you are open to inviting in the possibility and positivity!

For more details, head over to the AIMS2013 event page.

I will also be keeping folks signed up for the newsletter in the loop as the class develops.

 

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Bloom-tastic

 

 

On the Edge of the Woods

Postcard Road

I have been visiting some amazing homes with even more amazing people.  Each day that I share with someone, I just delight in the path that life can take us on.  I am in St. Louis today, having just driven in last night from Marseilles, Illinois where I was staying with my artist-friend, Amy Cavaness.

Rachel Payne Amy Cavaness

Amy’s home is tucked away into a little patch of woods out in the country.  Before I left, I made a video (below) in which I shared some of my thoughts about my Inner Gypsy Wild Woman and left an simple way for you to connect with your Inner Wanna Be. I would love to hear more about what wishes to share itself with the world.  I can tell you from personal experience, it is liberating!

Did you know I have a YouTube Channel…..

Creativity Tribe on YouTube

Radio Show {Take Two}

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Two weeks ago, I was a guest on Lucid Waking radio show.  Several friends wrote in to say they were not able to get the link to work, so I am reposting some of the details about the event.  It might be better timing for some of you to listen as we get deeper into the holidays.

By listening to The Spirit of Giving interview, you will discover….

  • the dynamics of giving
  • how to avoid giving burn out
  • when not to give
  • how to expand the gifts you have available
  • how giving leads to getting

Special thanks to my dear friend and partner in giving, Jessica of Hearth Roots.  She has been a great sounding board for my giving  journey and has blessed me by sharing her own.  That kind of sharing is really at the heart of the Spirit of Giving.

Lucid Waking Radio….click to listen.

 

Stomping Grounds

Half of living a creative life is looking at the world through a great pair of glasses.

We all have our stomping grounds. Those places that are near and dear to our hearts, that we know like the back of our hand.  The Art Museum of South Texas is that for me.  I have worked there on and off for….gosh, a very long time.  I started there as a drama teacher and gradually developed as an artist enough to offer art classes as well.

Now days, I am their go-to girl when the regular art teacher for the kids program (who used to be a student of mine, can you believe it?!) has something come up.  I love keeping a foot in the door there.

Recently I spent the day there with my friend (and blogging buddy)  Rosemary.  Rosemary and I love to meet for lunch and as luck would have it, we had an extra bit of time to visit so we had a bite to eat, caught up, and admired the view.

These pictures were taken from the observation deck that looks out over Corpus Christi Bay.

It isn’t uncommon for dolphins to feed and play in the bay when the water is warm enough.  And although it is nearly winter here, the weather is still mild enough to wear shorts and sandals most any day.

See the dolphin to the right of the shrimp boat above?  Awesome, huh?

The picture below is taken from inside the museum’s art studio where I usually teach. It was taken in October during a class with a bunch of first graders.  The class came to a halt when the tanker passed by.  It was almost like a giant suddenly walked by the window.  I was happy to stop the class. The large studio window suddenly felt like animated abstract paintings.

The art museum itself is a master piece. Designed by two architects (Phillip Johnson in the 70’s and Legorreta and Legorreta ’06) decades apart. It is a feast for the eyes.  The slide show below is virtual tour presented as a proposal for the building addition. It is kind of fun to check out and includes some of the museum’s permanent collection.

I hope you enjoyed getting to see one of the places I pull inspiration from.  It is kind of a no brainer to share it….there is the art (many piece I feel like I have a decade’s old relationship with)….there is the building which was where I spent time as a kid and then got to see it’s progression during the expansion….the environment it is in (what a beautiful city)….and all the amazing memories!
Your turn….
Where are your creative stomping grounds?  Where do you find inspiration?

What Dreams May Come

 

I have been visiting an old memory, going back in my personal history to a time just a few years into adulthood.  I remember feeling like I was chaotic inside, a tangled pile of jewelry. So tangled I wasn’t sure anyone, even the most patient of souls, could clear the confusion.  And yet something made me examine the knots with an eye bent on weighing out the treasure that might be held there.  Sure enough, I discovered the snarled pile of bobbles and trinkets promised to offer a few genuine gems.

It began with a line, a hope stretched out before me, turning into a curve and loop, a reach and dip until it created a map of my future.  For years that map served as my guiding light.  On it, I proposed that I might help people, that I might help others find their voices, show them how to activate their creativity.  I fancied the idea of being a published writer, of traveling cross country to speak at conventions, retreats, workshops, and intimate circles.  I wanted to offer experiences that would move people to be better, and somehow (and I really didn’t know how it would happen), I would be happy, confident, at peace with who I was, and stable enough to serve as a leader to others.

I have been visiting that old memory. They come in flashes, moments over the course of a month or so when I looked deep within my battered spirit and tried to scry a future for myself.  That memory represented a gamble I was taking….on myself and on life.  Did I dare dream?  Did I dare contemplate a possible destiny that was THAT big and THAT different from where I thought I was?

There are some choices in my life when I have chosen bravery over staying at the status quo, flat out said to myself, “To do this takes courage.”  I am grateful for the choice I made then.  It is because I took a chance on that possibility that I am where I am today.

Where I am on my Life Map

I am a helper.  I open doors for others.  I help them find their voices. I show people how to access their creativity.  I have been published.  I have traveled across the country to speak at a convention, been honored with an award for blending my helping skill with my creative gifts.  Have taught workshops and led intimate circles.  I offer experiences that move people…that move people to a better place.  And somehow, thank all that is good, I am happier than I have ever been in my life.  I am stable enough to serve as a leader to others, am confident and at peace with who I am.

I would say the map worked!

And so today, I sat down and began looking at that once tangled web of treasure….now put in order and set as a lovely collection of the beauty that is me.  I asked myself where these riches might take me, what new horizon was in store.  And I began working on a new map, an act two to my BIGGEST, BESTEST dreams come true.

The paper was too small to hold my dreams.

This coming week I will be making a shift here at Creativity Tribe to offer life coaching as my primary service.  It make sense on paper and in my spirit. I have been in the helping profession for years, teaching theatre and art, acting professionally, selling my work.  I have help creatives risk exposing their inner thoughts and imagining, assisting them in redefining what being an artist means so that they don’t have to come from a place dark and twisted to create.  I have been a massage therapist for a decade now, growing my understanding of human anatomy and the anatomy of the spirit all at the same time.  I have been asked by friends to serve as officiant at their most sacred life shifts: marriages, house blessings, births, menstruation celebrations, deaths, and funerals.  I have pursued my interest in the creative arts by earning an undergraduate degree in communication arts and have followed my desire to help by attaining a masters in counseling.

I can’t tell you how good it feels to put my hands out and say, “I have this to offer.”

The word coach doesn’t describe what I feel like I offer, but it is the closest term our culture has.  Companion, champion, wise woman, mentor, or perhaps guide?  Whatever feels comfortable, I am here to help….I am a helper.  It is what I have wanted to do professionally for years and now I am making it official.  I am a coach…of life, of creativity, of dreams wishing to be fulfilled.

What adventure awaits you?  I am in!  Shall we?

(All the Life Coaching details will be rolled out next week. You can subscribe to the blog by email ….at the top of the side column …if you are interested in following the shift in the site.  I would also like to invite you to celebrate a peace-filled holiday with the StressLess Holiday Cheer Party….my gift to you.)

This post coincides with the ending of Art Every Day Month.  What an adventure it has been!  Personally I have felt indulgent, diving into creativity for such a long streak.  I also have a very deep appreciation for the relationships that have grown out of this adventure.  I hoped to meet a few creatives, and was delighted when  a few stepped forward to connect as friends!  Thank you, each of you, especially Leah, for offering your creativity and your support.

 

 

Supernova Woman

The Full Moon was waiting for me when I went outside this evening.  It surprised me.  I had been waiting for her, but I got busy with life.  Before I knew it she was there, hanging out on the edge of the neighborhood, wanting to play.  This is my first full moon after the end of my Touch the Moon e-course.  Offering that class was intense in the best way. It encouraged me to show up daily for several months and be in touch with that celestial beauty in the sky.  In turn, I was more in touch with myself.

So here I am, a full moon in the sky and so much on my heart.  As the end of the year grows closer, I feel the pull of potential and possibility in the new year.  My mind is expanding like a supernova. Exploding with ideas.  And each idea heads out into the distance to connect with another dreamer, creating a project here, a circle of commonality there.  Behind the scenes I hold my arms out like a grand spider weaving together all the projects, whip stitching this hope to that thread of stardust, stretching my heart out to cradle it all.  It is scary, exhilarating and illuminating all at the same time.

I am SuperNova Woman! ZoomZoomZoom…. She-Bang! Bathed in moonlight.

Tonight’s full moon practice is inspired by one of the projects that comes out of that explosion of possibility.  The project, which is a collaboration with my friend Jessica of Hearth Roots, isn’t quite ready to be unveiled for the world, but I am ready for it.  The full moon feels like the right time to begin it.

And so my practice tonight is to move my body. To listen and then move. 

And then listen some more. 

Simple, but powerful. 

Today’s AEDM offering is about that same kind of energy. The lotus blooms in stillness.

It came out of a meditation. Expansive lotus with palm open to the golden heart.

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Art Every Day Month is a movement, inspiring artist around the blogosphere! Head over and see what they are up to today!  Then, consider joining us.  It is a small act that makes a big different.  Creativity…….. engage!

The Creative Cycle

The last month has been RICH with creative experience.

First an art retreat.

Paint Mojo Texas with Tracy Verdugo

Then, I jumped into Art Every Day Month and began pumping out art for myself, my friends, and two art shows

that I finished this weekend.

At the end of this creative streak…I remembered the wisdom my friend Gail shared with me about the creative process.  I want to share that nugget with YOU.

This process can be an essential element to safe-guarding your creative momentum. It can be scary to take a break because we think it means we might turn the creativity OFF.  But my experience is that it conditions us for more creativity.

For me, I was able to jump back in with a new energy and a new enthusiasm for my work.

This new piece (still in process) is being created for a show coming up in a few weeks.

Here’s what it is about:  Is 2012 the End of Times? Doomsday? Armageddon? Well, if this is indeed “The End” my friend, K Space Contemporary has a “Final Countdown” for you! “The Apocalypse Show” is a huge group exhibition of artists from all across Texas and features their unique takes on the end of the world scenario. It’s also K Space’s 5th Anniversary this year so please come down, experience a fantastic show and help us party like it’s “1999”! If this is “The End of the World As We Know It”, you won’t want to miss possibly the last show ever!!! It’s going nuclear!

I started the new piece today, using the techniques I learned in Paint Mojo but using death, chaos, destruction, renewal, and resilience as the focus for my work.

The Beginning of the Process

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Art Every Day Month is a movement, inspiring artist around the blogosphere! Head over and see what they are up to today!  Then, consider joining us.  It is a small act that makes a big different.  Creativity…….. engage!

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Welcome to CT

Welcome to CT

Hi, I am Rachél.... the quirky, big-hearted soul behind Creativity Tribe, a sanctuary for your creative spirit. As a life coach and artist, I know the importance of community, celebration, and transformation. Creativity Tribe is abuzz with connections to other creative bloggers and offers tips and stories to inspire your creative lifestyle!
http://creativitytribe.com/

Creative Live Coach

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There is a beauty that comes out of sharing a journey with another person....a dream for yourself, a direction for a project, a way out of the muck that holds your Creative Spirit back. Let's talk about working together. creativitytribe@gmail.com