This Sense-sational Life is a blogging series that came out of my realization that the more I explore life and get a sense of its nuances (including the literal senses and figurative ones) the more my life feels sensational.
A Sense of Gravity
I watched Gravity, the movie, this afternoon with my hubby. I donned the 3D glasses, munched on some popcorn, sipped from a cup with two straws and held on tight to my man when things in the movie felt a little too close to real life. I promise not to give anything away, except for the fact that this movie shouldn’t be missed.
It may sound odd for me as a down to Earth artist to claim a movie about an astronaut hits close to home, but Gravity’s metaphoric symbolism grabbed hold of me and took me through the same journey as the main character, played by Sandra Bullock. One thing the trailer shows, that is enough for me to share, is that this movie is about how we sometimes have an unexpected collision with life that just might send us far enough off our course to force us scrambling for something solid to hold onto. And sometimes when things turn our world upside down, the only thing we may have to hold onto is ourselves!
The last several months have been one of those uncharted journeys for me. Boy, don’t we learn a lot about ourselves when we get untethered from our life as we know it. A few months ago when I was diagnosed with uterine cancer, I just wouldn’t have had any idea that the lessons that are coming up for me would be the ones to come up. I thought the challenges would be one thing going into it, and they are totally different.
I am watching how I choose to learn my lessons. Some lessons are joyfully challenging to wrestle with. They validate me somehow. I could easily spend lifetimes wrestling with what it means to be a woman who loses her reproductive organs. I could write poetry, make art, lead women’s circles, workshops, vision quests, write novels, and create a movement, work for a cause. Can you feel the energy behind that? It is intoxicating, somehow!
Instead, the challenge for me is about the mundane. About paperwork, deadlines, responsibility, and one task after another that all seem overwhelming. There is nothing intoxicating about that for me. No energy there that might inspire something. It stings and wears me down some days. And so I have to motivate myself.
Now, I am good about motivating myself for some things, but wouldn’t you know, this isn’t one of those things! It is almost funny, a cosmic joke. And to some people I know it must seem convoluted. But those are the folks for whom the mundane is energizing. The people who have certain ducks in a row. And those folks probably would be overwhelmed by the idea of creating art or writing in response to a loss. That would be their big lesson.
So luckily, when the student is ready the teacher will share its wisdom. That is what Gravity has done for me. It inspired me to get over myself….to get down to business and get focused. It helped me see I could make a valiant effort to reach for life…my life.
So if you are reading this today, know I am doing just that. Reaching. Will you sit in your seats holding onto your honey, fearful of what my journey reflects in you? Do that if you must, but I would prefer that you join me. Let go. Throw your arms in the air and reach for something you think you might never get to. Get over yourself. And go for it! What do you have to lose?!
“Houston….this is Galactic Earth Traveler Rachél Payne, in the blind. If you copy me, Houston, I am adjusting my trajectory 3 degrees and heading out of range of the blasts that have been knocking me off course. My target is to complete of this mission. The ride may get bumpy on the way, but I hope to see you on the other side. Rachél out.”
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