Last year, I created a music playlist on my Kindle called Walking on Sunshine. I was playing with a bit of music therapy as a creative solution for bringing light into my life during a difficult time. I had uterine cancer, and an ongoing, nasty story running in my head had been telling me I was going to die.
Dramatic, I know. But heads do that to us sometimes.
Mine had been spinning the tale for a few decades. My mother had died at 45, and her father before her also died at 45. Somehow, the script got stuck playing on a loop in my head too. I tried time and again to make it stop altogether, but as 45 drew closer, it began to manifest itself. So when I found out at 44 that I had cancer, I began planting seeds of sunshine in my life more rigorously.
(This image is from my Cancer Journey journal.
Look for today’s journal prompt at the end of this blog entry.)
The stress management playlist had a great collection of sunny songs. I would listen to it several times a day and run creative visualizations around in my imagination…..
… What life beyond cancer would look like.
… What life beyond cancer would feel like.
… What life beyond cancer would….you name it!
My imagination took me there!
What’s Today?!
Exactly a year ago today, I grabbed my playlist, cranked it up and dressed myself for the ride to MD Anderson Cancer Hospital.
I was due for surgery early in the day. I felt myself walking into a shadowy path, but I felt filled with light. The songs were alive with all the stories I had layered into them with my imagination, and I relished them like a castaway imagining the succulent meals at the end of their lonely journey. I was feasting on the sun!
The sunshine stories told of the life of my deepest desires…..
….Told of art shows, fabulous paintings that would bless those whose walls they graced, and connections with people who wanted to work with me on making their dreams come true.
…. Told of retreats I would teach, workshops for inspiring personal growth and cultivating connections with something within that was both sacred and creative.
….Told of a deepened relationship with friends, family, community, and that something Greater than us.
Change Your Story, Change Your Life
I walked into the hospital feeling like those new stories out-shone the old story. So many lovely things clicked into place to make the new stories feel like they were taking form in the present moment.
The surgery went well.
The staff was excellent.
I recovered easily and quickly.
My tests came back with GLOWING results.
All was well…..and still is.
Life a Year Later: Shadow or Light?
When I sat down to write this post, none of that was in the plans. None of the cancer stuff anyway.
I was excite (am excited) because this is my 200th post on this site. It coincides with a stream of awesomeness that has taken shape over the last month or so.
Walking On Sunshine: Life Beyond Cancer
I wanted to write about everything that was going right in my life. When I went to type the title, “Walking On Sunshine”, it made me think about the playlist….and then the cancer….and “Wait a minute! What is today?”
A quick look at the calendar confirmed the surgery was exactly a year ago.
My subconscious mind must have been toying with it. Love all those sychronicities.
As it happens, I realized I have created many of my “life beyond cancer” imaginings. That is exactly what I set out to write about. My dreams are coming true….and sometimes more quickly than I know what to do with! Great problems to have, huh?!
I am celebrating!
Last week I taught at a Women’s Retreat, then came home, hung a one woman show of paintings that I am so in love with, sold over half them, have been booked for more art classes, more workshops, more art shows, …… one thing after another is going SO right. Did I mention, 200 posts?!
I feel like I am…..Walking On Sunshine.
And don’t it feel good!
Celebrating….one year, all clear!
Journal Prompt:
What would life be like for you
if you were Walking On Sunshine?
Continue the Walking on Sunshine conversation in the Creativity Tribe Facebook Group. I would love to support your shiny, glowing life!
