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Posts Tagged the “C” word

Celebrate with Me

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Last year on this day, I was in Austin, Texas chasing a dream.  For years I had wished to move my thriving blog Art of Collecting Yourself to a more fleshed-out website designed to let me do more of what I love….connect with Creatives.   Finally….the day arrived.  I had joined a website publishing challenge called One K in 1 Day and found that one of their meet-ups for support was in Austin.  So I headed out with a goal to actually publish the site on the day of the event.

I put in lots of time before hand.  I selected a theme and then tried to figure it out which also meant figuring Photoshop out.  Yikes!  Day by day in the month leading up to the event, I crafted the bones of my very first website.  It was one of the biggest creative challenges of my life.  But given how much it meant to me, I thought it just might be worth it.  And I was right!

Today marks my one year anniversary of the website.  Earlier in the summer I quietly celebrated 3 years since I started blogging.  All tolled, I have published a whopping 499 posts between the first blog and this site.  Wow!  That is an average of over 3 posts a week.  Can you tell I love writing?!

My posts have slowed down recently a bit as I am upping the self-care, taking care of my sweet little womb.  (For more details you can catch up on Boldly Saying the “C” Word.)

A Look at the Past

Some of the transitions my blog banner has gone through this year…

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Check out some of this year’s highlights!

First post…  Creativity Tribe: Bare Bones (it’s a good one!)

First radio interview…  Lucid Waking

Began offering Coaching Services for Creatives

Started a Guest Blog Series… This Sense-sational Life

The big trip up the middle of America…

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Angels & Faeries Week honoring Angels in My Studio 2013

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First Telesummit… Become Soulfully Connected Telesummit

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xoxo And of course there was so much more!  xoxo

The year to come is so full of potential and possibility.  I just can’t help but wonder what I will be sitting and typing about in September of 2014.  I hope it will mean more beautiful connections with those who find their way here, more magical moments of understanding and loving myself, and more big dreams to spin into reality.

I want to close this post with huge thank you from the bottom of my very deep heart!  Every day someone from my creative community touches my life in ways that are big surprises to me.  They share themselves, their creations, their hopes and allow me to serve as witness.  And more and more as I go down this new journey of healing my body, that same community is rising up to offer their support and love to me.  I can’t tell you what a huge gift this is.  Life is good!  Thanks for being part of mine!

Creatively yours,

Rachel Payne Life Coach

rachel payne coach

Click the box above for your free discovery session.

A Celebration….A Challenge

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A Celebration

Today I have been spinning with awe.  Something I wished to change in my life and set in motion last Fall rose up today to show me its resolution.  Sometimes we don’t know how our dreams will play out.  Watching them unfold can be a trip.

Last Fall, I began exploring a very ingrained story about dying at 45 like my mom and her father.  I don’t know why I got it stuck in my head, but I did!  I kept myself from truly following my dreams because I just couldn’t see life beyond that.  As 45 inched closer, I decided I would reach for wellness and longevity…..trying to avoid my fear of death wasn’t working so I might as well go through the back door!  I had tried to deny my fear for so long without making headway that I thought claiming life might give death a run for its money.

I began seeing a chiropractor who was also a naturopathic doctor.  Some of her methods were unconventional.  Some were cutting edge.  When it felt right, I followed what she prescribed.  I began listening to my body, working on the subtle issues that came up.  And a theme began to develop.  I was sick.  My cycle went crazy. You can read all about it in my previous post Boldly Saying the “C” Word where I share about recently discovering I have uterine cancer.

Yah, on my way to reaching for wellness and longevity I discovered the thing that just might have killed me just as I had been spinning in my imagination for decades.  Instead frantically wrestling with the fear, I shifted my reality.  Here I am with a very curable dis-ease, caught early, with a great outlook for the future.  I think some people might immediately see cancer as a pathway to dying.  I know for me it is a catalyst for living with more freedom than I have in decades. Cancer helped me let go of death and grab onto life.

With or without the cancer, I was on my way towards a better life thanks to the body work, emotional and spiritual work I have been doing since I started working on living longer.  Each day I would look for ways to make life better….healthier, happier, more connected to nature, people, myself, and that Something More that walks this journey with me.  Life felt like it was full of possibility!

So that is my celebration…..now an invitation for you to move towards a celebration for yourself.

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A Challenge

A Challenge:  What if there really was a field of possibility for you to pull your life’s desire out of….what would YOU set in motion?  Anyone dare state that today?   Check inside and see what might feel like it wants relief in your life.  You don’t have to know HOW you are going to do it.  You don’t want to know really because a big shift usually happens organically and synchronisticly.  Claim what you want in your life and then listen for the next right step.  For me it was moving towards a healthier, longer life by going to see that specific doctor.  I kept listening along the way.  Do it and I will hold that energy with you!  You can post here what you want or simply leave a note saying you want to make a shift and I will hold space with you.  Once you know what you want…listen and take the first move.  The Creativity Tribe is playing Possibility Tribe!

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Deep Gratitude

I want to share my deepest gratitude for the incredible reception I got in sharing my diagnosis of uterine cancer earlier in the week.  I had a LoveStorm of support, encouragement, and prayers expressed here on the website and through my personal Facebook Page.  I had more visitors in one day than I often have in a good week.  So much love!  I can still feel a circle of care gathering up around me.  I want to assure each of you that although I have a diagnosis, I am feeling strong, have no out of the ordinary discomfort and am just waiting for my surgery. I am adding in lots of self-care, and doing what I love in my personal life and business life.  Thank you again….from the bottom of my very grateful heart!

 Creatively yours,

Rachel Payne Life Coach

rachel payne coach

Click the box above for your free discovery session.

Boldly Saying the “C” Word

inwardOver thirty years ago when my maternal grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer, she talked about it in a whispered code.  I remember saying the full word in front of her one day in the kitchen while we were making lunch together. She gently redirecting my speech by simply telling me she did not like the “C” word.  I respected that it was difficult for her.  She had a strong personality that felt like it steered the direction of our family and to see something knock her off her feet for awhile meant it was a force to be reckoned with.  Her breast cancer didn’t keep her down, though, Mamaw outlived it by nearly two decades.

This summer, I found myself called to the bedside of my friend Patrice.  Patrice had boldly danced through life with cancer for twenty years.  Upon my return from the big road trip I took in April, I went to visit with her.  That began a streak of visits in which I did massage and energy work with her.  She would ask for me to help her with her legs and I found as much as she wanted me close by, I wished to be part of her last glorious days.  Her days were glorious, too.  She partied in the end more than any other person I had know who was on their way out of this life.  She held life by the tail and made sure it knew it was a tiger!

At the beginning of the summer, my cycle had become rather irregular.  I was returning from my trip when my period just lingered on.  I was consulting a naturopathic doctor and would see my gynecologist when I could get an appointment.   Each week I spent time during my meditation workshop exploring some of the issues that floated around what it meant to me be a woman. I looked at creativity, mothering, body issues, power imbalances, safety and vulnerability, objectification of the body, denial of the voice, freedom of movement, sexuality, abundance…..the whole nine yards! This summer has been packed full of personal growth.

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Those few days after Patrice passed were very uncomfortable.  I had to stay close to home and became weak with an iron deficiency.  Something had turned a flood gate on, and I knew I needed medical help quickly.  I spent a month with the doctor doing this test and that, looking into options that might help me fix what was causing the crazy, heavy, unending cycle.  Just when we thought we had a plan of action we could all agree on (my gynecologist, naturopath, and me) I got the result back from a test that showed cancerous cells in my uterus.  That was about two weeks ago.

The “C” word.

I spent several hours after the doctor’s call alone at home.  I was shaken for sure.  You hear that word and the mind goes straight to the worst.  But on the fringe of fear I heard good news too.

We caught it early…we think it is contained…. you probably won’t need treatment beyond a hysterectomy.

Gratitude! Somehow I couldn’t help but think Patrice made sure I was taken care of.

Lots of things go through your mind when they give you news like that.  I thought about all the people I personally knew who had created a life with or after the “C” word.  I thought about the strength they had shone, about the way they framed their experience and what they made it mean to them and others in their lives.  Then I made a decision that I would be brave in my vulnerability, I would feel my feelings as fully as I could, process any old wounds that needed attention, celebrate the blessings that come with the journey, and when I could, I would share my personal story so others could support me and so I could help other women understand the beauty, strength, and essence of being a woman. What if this could change my life and the lives of others who needed….who needed….I don’t know.  I just feel like there is a gift in there somewhere.

That last part means claiming the “C” word to a world wide audience.  It is a big decision because in some circles you just don’t talk about your lady parts (yep, there is another “C” word some will never say) but I am bringing that conversation to this circle.  I am going to foster an honest, spirited sharing that doesn’t throw a hand up to make sure no one hears.

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I HAVE CANCER.  Loud and clear.

It won’t define me, but it also isn’t going to be just a blip on the map of my life.  I believe that there is Something Greater working here and the same calling that sat me next to Patrice in her last days to share my gifts…the same calling that has had me build a global community for the last three years just wouldn’t want me to keep the gifts of this journey secret.  To fully share those gifts, I think I must surely have to share the force that ushered them in.

So around here, I am beefing up the self-care, the self-love, and introspection.  I am going to continue to make my way through this life with creativity leading the way (now more than ever actually).  I open my arms to your support, encouraging you not to hurt for me but instead to hold a space of exploration and curiosity about what in the world I am going to transform this unexpected experience into. Be grateful with me, keep me in your prayers if you do that, and in your heart if you will.  For this journey I am grateful.  For this community I am grateful.  With gratitude, I am….

 Creatively yours,

Rachel Payne Life Coach

rachel payne coach

Click the box above for your free discovery session.

 

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Welcome to CT

Welcome to CT

Hi, I am Rachél.... the quirky, big-hearted soul behind Creativity Tribe, a sanctuary for your creative spirit. As a life coach and artist, I know the importance of community, celebration, and transformation. Creativity Tribe is abuzz with connections to other creative bloggers and offers tips and stories to inspire your creative lifestyle!
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There is a beauty that comes out of sharing a journey with another person....a dream for yourself, a direction for a project, a way out of the muck that holds your Creative Spirit back. Let's talk about working together. creativitytribe@gmail.com