Subscribe

Posts Tagged when life is difficult

Lessons from Gravity the Movie {spoiler free}

sensational

This Sense-sational Life is a blogging series that came out of my realization that the more I explore life and get a sense of its nuances (including the literal senses and figurative ones) the more my life feels sensational.

A Sense of Gravity

I watched Gravity, the movie, this afternoon with my hubby.  I donned the 3D glasses, munched on some popcorn, sipped from a cup with two straws and held on tight to my man when things in the movie felt a little too close to real life.  I promise not to give anything away, except for the fact that this movie shouldn’t be missed.

It may sound odd for me as a down to Earth artist to claim a movie about an astronaut hits close to home, but Gravity’s metaphoric symbolism grabbed hold of me and took me through the same journey as the main character, played by Sandra Bullock.  One thing the trailer shows, that is enough for me to share, is that this movie is about how we sometimes have an unexpected collision with life that just might send us far enough off our course to force us scrambling for something solid to hold onto.  And sometimes when things turn our world upside down, the only thing we may have to hold onto is ourselves!

prepare for impact

The last several months have been one of those uncharted journeys for me.  Boy, don’t we learn a lot about ourselves when we get untethered from our life as we know it.   A few months ago when I was diagnosed with uterine cancer, I just wouldn’t have had any idea that the lessons that are coming up for me would be the ones to come up.  I thought the challenges would be one thing going into it, and they are totally different.

I am watching how I choose to learn my lessons.  Some lessons are joyfully challenging to wrestle with.  They validate me somehow.  I could easily spend lifetimes wrestling with what it means to be a woman who loses her reproductive organs.  I could write poetry, make art, lead women’s circles, workshops, vision quests, write novels, and create a movement, work for a cause.  Can you feel the energy behind that? It is intoxicating, somehow!

Creative Spirit

Instead, the challenge for me is about the mundane.  About paperwork, deadlines, responsibility, and one task after another that all seem overwhelming.  There is nothing intoxicating about that for me.  No energy there that might inspire something. It stings and wears me down some days.  And so I have to motivate myself.

Now, I am good about motivating myself for some things, but wouldn’t you know, this isn’t one of those things!  It is almost funny, a cosmic joke.  And to some people I know it must seem convoluted.  But those are the folks for whom the mundane is energizing.  The people who have certain ducks in a row.  And those folks probably would be overwhelmed by the idea of creating art or writing in response to a loss.   That would be their big lesson.

So luckily, when the student is ready the teacher will share its wisdom.  That is what Gravity has done for me.  It inspired me to get over myself….to get down to business and get focused.  It helped me see I could make a valiant effort to reach for life…my life.

So if you are reading this today, know I am doing just that. Reaching.  Will you sit in your seats holding onto your honey, fearful of what my journey reflects in you?  Do that if you must, but I would prefer that you join me.  Let go.  Throw your arms in the air and reach for something you think you might never get to.  Get over yourself.  And go for it!  What do you have to lose?!

Galactic Selfie

“Houston….this is Galactic Earth Traveler Rachél Payne, in the blind.  If you copy me, Houston, I am adjusting my trajectory 3 degrees and heading out of range of the blasts that have been knocking me off course. My target is to complete of this mission.  The ride may get bumpy on the way, but I hope to see you on the other side.  Rachél out.”

NEW: Free Gift to Boost Your Creativity!

 I hope you will head over for my free gift.  I really put lots of love and energy into, wanting it to bring creativity to your life and life to your creativity!

  Sign Up for the Creativity Booster Pack

 Creativity Booster Banner 2 550

 Blogtoberfest

 Don’t forget to visit Blogtoberfest 2013‘s page!

 Rachel Payne life creativity coach

Opening Up to A Better Day

all_is_well

It doesn’t take much for most of us to get bogged down by a situation.  Perhaps we just woke up a bit sore or have that nagging to-do that feels like it is going to get the best of us for another day.  Often we can’t even put our finger on what kicked our anxiety into gear.  There is just a heaviness that follows us around.

But just as easily as it comes on, we can help the residue of funkiness fall away if we have a few tricks up our sleeve. For me, having a few practices that cultivate mindfulness and help get my thoughts out so I can see them can make all the difference.

Carnival Freak

Favorite Mindfulness Practice

Simply focusing on the breath.  This technique is super easy and can be done anywhere.  Invite yourself to find your breath.  Then witness it move in and out of the body.  No need to breathe a certain way.  Nose or mouth, either works.  Simply witness.  You will notice almost immediately that there is a sift, however slight, in your stress level.  Perhaps you will feel an emotion come up.  If so, take a few minutes to honor it.  It is there to serve you.

I know that even in the most difficult of times giving space to my feelings has allowed me to arrive at a place of release that could only come by letting go and honoring them.  We spend so much energy trying not to feel the difficult feelings.  Simply by turning and looking at them, we can move to a new space….often opening up to the easier feelings like peace and joy.

Favorite Expressive Practice

Journaling is by far my favorite expressive practice.  My journal is a hodge podge of feelings and images that range from visually spectacular to scribbles, scratches, and mental malarkey.  The biggest trick to journaling is to give yourself permission… permission to explore your feelings and thoughts without censorship… permission to be messy… permission to feel… permission to show up without anything profound happening… permission to write and draw dark feelings, hard feelings, bright feelings, any feelings… permission to take time for yourself (as little as 15 minutes is clinically proven to boost your immune system….that’s some good medicine!)… permission to shine… permission to move to a place of deeper understanding of who you are, how you work, and what in the world wishes to help you move closer and closer to joy.

creativity prompt

Combine the two practices above by first attending to the breath (3-5 minutes) then opening your journal to see what wishes to share itself with you.  You might also note how you are feeling before the breathing.  You can assign a number to your anxiety or discomfort or simply give what you are feeling a name.  Do the same at the end of your journaling.  Try this prompt a few times in the next week or so to see if it might be something that helps you open up to a better day.  I hope it does.

Let me hear from you….. I would love to hear from you if you decide to do the Creativity Prompt.  Feel free to drop a note in the comments to let me know how it goes.  I know the rest of the Creativity Tribe could grow from your experience as well!

 Creatively yours…

Rachel Payne Life Coach

Secrets to Shifting Out of Difficulty and Into Delight

bouncing back

When we start talking about seeing life’s difficulties with a positive spin, I know from personal experience there can be a part of the self that wants to throw a hand up in the air and turn its back on the whole conversation.

 Girl friend, these troubles are mine!  I came to them the hard way…with bumps, bruises, and plenty of tears.  And you just want me to push them aside? Sister, puh-leez!

It may sound like I am exaggerating, but I have heard it from friends and clients too.  Something in us needs to hold onto the dramas and traumas of life, and when someone suggests we move away from them ….especially the big, hairy, scary ones….. we stand our ground.

I have shared over the last several months about working through my big stuck-in-place stories, dealing with the illness and death of loved ones, facing personal fears and those the same scary-world scenarios we all see on TV.  The more I practice moving out of the pain and into the possibility, the easier it is getting.  Here are some of my secrets.

Start where you are.  If you feel yourself digging in with both heels, staying close to the pain….for whatever reason….let that be where you start your journey towards healing.  Giving yourself permission to honor the hurt can often be an important step in eventually finding relief.

Invite your creativity in.  Honoring the hurt with creativity helps you take something that feels stuck and brings movement to it without disregarding the part of you that needs the experience recognized.  It also opens a door to a new perspective.  The options are endless for how to bring creativity into a difficulty. They range from journaling to dance, include music, gardening, or just getting quiet and going inward.

creative collaboration sisters

A Favorite Technique. One of my faves right now is to imagine that some thing greater than myself…. that could be a Higher Power, helping spirit, imagined healing hand, angel, saint, or some part of myself more wise… that some Guide  has a gift for me that comes from the situation I am stuck in.  I get quiet, close my eyes, and let my helper hand me a box that will show what the gift is.  I open it and look inside.  Sometimes it takes me awhile, may even takes more than one visit to see and understand what is inside the box.  I am patient.  I try to never force it.  Try to let it come more from my creativity and less from my willful mind. The gifts are often simple and nearly always, if I am willing to receive the gift, I find them comforting and healing.

An Organic, Intuitive Process.  Moving from difficult and into delight is a process.  The most helpful part in my opinion is the decision itself.  Will I choose to be happy?  How long will I stay with all the hard feelings the difficulty brings?  Could I redefine myself as one of those people who bounces back…who feels the feelings, listens to that guiding spirit within myself that knows how to move towards happiness then resets the path to lead me there?  I have decided to be that person.

resilience quote 2

The Ultimate Reward.  I have been exploring this for about 8 months, this transforming of those dense feelings into life lessons and morsels of meaningfulness.  The process leads to all kinds of rewards.  I am learning so much about myself and the way life works.  But the ultimate reward is a sense of strength I feel from making my back to peace when life brings situations that feel difficult.  I am discovering that I am resilient and that sometimes what feel like a pickle of a situation was really something beautiful in disguise.  This is the key for me to staying on top of emotional wellness.

Current Workshop: Angels In My Studio 2013

REGISTRATION NOW OPEN……CLICK FOR DETAILS

Before you leave:  Check Out Angels In My Studio…the e-course

Angels in My Studio 2013

Starts soon….would love to take it with you!

Rachel Payne Life Coach

The Indulgent Life

meaning and magic

I have been indulging in life this year.  Not the kind of indulgence where you eat rich, spend lots, and party til the sun don’t shine.  The kind where you hold onto whatever comes your way and sap out every morsel of meaning and magic you can.

What I have held onto…

There was a birth in my circle of friends followed by lots of time with the baby, funny faces, kisses on the bottom of the feet, adventures in diaper changing, and those magical moment when you help the little one find his way to slumber land.

There have been illnesses:  calls in the middle of the night, quick trips to the hospital, surgeries and moments where we didn’t know if this loved one or that was moving closer to or further from death.

There have been second chances:  a heart made new, whispered I’m Sorry’s, choked up Thank You’s, hope for the rest of a new life given.

And there have been last chances:  families and friends drawing close to squeeze out every last bit of loveliness life has had to offer, pulling up memories of the great times, letting go of the worst, counting breaths and pills, holding a hand, stroking a furrowed brow, and in the end inviting the letting-go.

There have been celebrations….of the birth, the play, the renewal, the life well-lived.

success quote

In each of these threads of existence, I have looked for the gift.  That is the lesson I chose to learn this year, taking GIFT on as my word for 2013.  It is easy to look for the gifts in the places where celebration is the norm, but when life gets difficult and emotions are tender, being grateful and turning your eyes towards the positive takes some dedication.

And yet, that is where I am.  It doesn’t come automatically though.  I am choosing to shift my perspective.  The more I do it, the easier it is for me to understand HOW I am doing it.  That HOW is what I want to share with you next week.  Until then, I invite you to look for the gifts the difficult might have to share with you.  You just might be surprised at how much of life has something valuable tucked inside it.

Before you leave:  Check Out Angels In My Studio…the e-course

Angels in My Studio 2013

Starts soon….would love to take it with you!

Rachel Payne Life Coach

 

Surprise Birthday Gifts

UNT Mouth

While on my road trip up the middle of  America and back again, I had a birthday.  I had thought perhaps that I would make a bit to-do about it….because that is how I usually do birthdays on my blog, but instead I was busy getting my car fixed.  I made the best of it though….donuts and all!!

Birthday Donut 2

 I had been staying with my cousin Lori on a communal far just outside of Oklahoma City.  On the morning of my birthday, she took me to a donut shop and ambushed me with Happy Birthday at the top of her lungs…solo.  I was mortified and delighted all in the same breath…which I am sure is the exact reaction she was hoping for!  (This little bird was my car mascot for the trip.  Great listener, by the way!)

Birthday Donut

My birthday passed rather quietly after that.  I usually like to spend some time looking back and visioning the year to come, but my attention was on the trouble I was getting fixed on my car and the 4 hour drive to at night to my next destination, Springfield, MO.

Back to the Gifts

The work GIFT is one of my words for 2013.  It serves as a theme that I can focus on for self-exploration.  This last week, I have been working on understanding some of the more difficult areas of my life.  Why now?  Well, life has a way of doing a bit of Spring cleaning from time to time.  Now is my time.  Difficulites…..We all have them, the things we always come back to or that pop up multiple times over the course of our life.  It might be self-esteem, an old story about ourselves we hold onto, a fear we just can’t kick.

The difficult areas I am working on are about limitations that I have perceived in my life.  Some of them are physical limitations, others emotional….sometimes they are relational and even mental.   Some are stories about myself that were told to me when I was very young that I continued to believe.  Some stories about about what it means to be a woman in this society or to grow older as a woman.  Some are of my own invention, some circumstantial.

Over the last week or so, I have been challenging the limitations.  I think having driven to the other side of the country on my own has given me a new perspective on life. (Seriously, some days I am shocked that I did that. And never once since I got back have I regretted it!)  My new perspective isn’t just on life as it is, but I am looking back over my life and attempting to re-story-ing it.

I am specifically looking for aspects of my story that were overlooked before.  One of my mentors, Dr. Rose Knippa, has been visiting with me about how life is always in balance or moving back into balance…..and how we often don’t see it as such.  So I have been going back to look for how life was balanced when I didn’t see it as such.

For example, I discovered this week that one of the most difficult and painful parts of my life, losing my mom when I was 21, significantly shaped who I am today.  I have felt the limitations of it for a long time, and sometimes I could glimpse that good things came from it.  But this week I am more fully tapping into the many gifts my mom’s early death has brought to me and how I use those gifts with my clients.  Her death sent me looking for answers about pain management which sent me to massage school.  It sent me to study counseling and shapes my coaching practice.  It helps me to understand first hand the stages of grief, the process of dying, and the family dynamics that can shift as a result.  Her death was the catalyst for my shift towards visual art and has been the subject of most of my art journaling over the years.  More than anything, it has taught me that death isn’t the end. Even when someone dies, there is an alive-ness to what was between you and them that can grow.  You might call it cultivated memory or a spiritual relationship.  Whatever it is, it has been essential to the peace I am finding with her passing as I grow older.

Rachel Payne art

I just don’t know who I would be had I not had this extreme event to weave into my being.  For most of my life, I would not have even imagined that I might say I am grateful for her passing.  I would prefer that she be alive and happy, right here beside me. AND. I am grateful for the gifts that came from her death.  This week more than any in my life, I can see what those gifts are.

Later this week….

I want to share with you how I am moving from disgruntled about the difficulties in life to grateful.  In the meantime, I invite you to begin looking for the gifts you might have tucked away in your life that could make the hard times the most valuable times in you life.

Til then….keep creating!

Angels in My Studio 2013

Current Workshop: Angels In My Studio 2013

REGISTRATION NOW OPEN……CLICK FOR DETAILS

Rachel_Payne

Seeing in the Dark

EveryMoment

When I was a young girl, my father told me a good deal didn’t always mean less money spent.  He explained… a well made product that costs a bit more was a better buy than the same thing made with less care at a cheaper price. I am sure you have heard the same thing.

I have heard that wisdom packaged in different ways through out my lifetime.  But today, I am exploring how to apply that wisdom to life itself.  As more people find their way to Creativity Tribe, I work to define what this space offers them.  When it comes down to it, I think it offers them tools, inspiration, and support for a well crafted life.

Part of providing that kind of opportunity for them means doing the work myself.  I believe in walking the walk. In being authentic and not just trying to spin some sort of fantasy that life is always peachy keen. It isn’t. Life is messy and sometimes it hurts.  But when I am in a space to CRAFT my life, I have some input on what to do with the mess, how to give meaning to the hurt, and  how to pull all the value out of life that I can.

Fate has been giving me opportunities to CRAFT life this month.  I got pushed off course….at least off the course I thought I would be on.  But every day, I make decisions that help me take what has been given to me and make it into something beautiful.  There have been a handful or so of times like the one I am in right now that I can remember, where life was SO AMAZING one second and something turned the lights off in the middle of the ride so I had to find my way back to center again.

What I am loving about THIS time is that I realize I don’t need the lights on to see in the dark.

Aries Full Moon 058

 

It reminds me of when I was in theatre.  There I was in the middle of the stage, lights BLARING. Scene ends. Cut to black. And the world was flooded in darkness. The trick to seeing in the dark….close your eyes. When you open them, you see the world in a shadowy form, but you CAN see.

That is what I have been doing the last three weeks or so.  Closing my eyes, opening them, finding my way to the wings stage left, and getting ready for my next entrance.

Preparing for the Next Scene

Through out the last year, I have been following a few individuals online who inspire me and help me stay on course. Recently I decided to partner with one of them, Leonie Dawson, as one of her ambassador affiliates.  I love that she calls us her ambassadors, because that is what it feels like to me.  I believe in what she offers, so sharing her goodies with the Creatives who come here everyday makes me feel like I just might be supporting someone’s well crafted life.

Leonie is an energetic, open-hearted, creative with a passion for helping women transform their lives.

I chose to become an ambassador for her because I loved USING what she creates.  As I prepare for 2013, I have decided to buy her 2013 Create Your Incredible Year Calendar & Workbook.  As a life coach, I look for opportunities to creatively set goals, explore obstacles, and drive myself toward my dreams.  Leonie has set this up to help you make sense of 2012 and move you in the right direction for 2013.  For me, that kind of processing is essential. See why I decided to partner with her?!

 

I’ve ordered the workbook and can’t wait for it to come in.  

What works for you?

I read an article a few days ago that January 21st is one of the most difficult days of the year for lots of people because they have already lost track of their goals and let go of their dream for the year.  Like I said, life can get messy.  BUT, we aren’t without choice. Every moment is a new opportunity to choose a WELL CRAFTED LIFE.

I would love to hear where you are….these couple of days after January 21st.  What is going on with YOUR dreams for 2013?  What will you do to keep them in front of you and moving forward?  Are the lights on in your world, and if not, close your eyes…look within.  The dark doesn’t have to be so bad.

Rachel_Payne

All is Well

all_is_well

One day several years ago as I was sitting in one of those over-stuffed chairs that used to be scattered through out the local Barnes & Noble, I began a light conversation with a man…a stranger.  I don’t remember much of what we talked about, but I do remember how he ended the conversation. He simply said, “All is well.”  And walked away.

All is well.

It echoed in the space where he had been sitting, lingered there for a long while until it found its way into my journal.

All is well.

I carried the words around for me for quite awhile, pondering them.  What if….All is Well?

Pandoraselfportheader

I have needed All is Well lately.  A series of mishaps has left me feeling off balanced the last month.  Scattered around me is the evidence that All is Well, but in my core, in my gut, All does not feel Well. All feels, well, off!

I could list the mishaps and give you plenty of good stories to elaborate on what has me feeling this way, but I really don’t want to do that. Not because I don’t want to share, but more because I want All to be Well. I want balance and peace.  Some of my mishaps have not been settled yet though.  There are some very personal happenings that are in limbo, that will only find resolution in time and which I can do absolutely nothing to truly help.  I both love and hate this predicament. I hate it for its discomfort and love it because it is one of the characteristics that makes life what it is.

This ambiguity is life.  This turning of my stomach in the middle of the night is life. This preoccupation with the past to make sense of the present in spite of a possible future is life. I feel it because I care about for others and for myself. I feel it because what was once lost is now found….again.  I feel it because I am alive.

Even in the pain…..All is Well.

Even in the not knowing…..All is Well.

Even when there is no end in sight….All is Well.

All is Well. All is Well.

 

mary_nicho

All is Well.

 

Thank you to Rosemary of Reflections of My World for inspiring this response as part of This Sensa-ational Life.  Please have a peek at Rosemary’s post and discover what a Sense of Well Being is for you.  The linky is open through the end of this week.  

 

 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Latest Posts

A Gift for You

self-care gift

Ready to spark your self-care journey? This full color guide to gives you a handful of self-care actions to help you manage stress and up your self-care game. Filled with tips and tricks, this e-book helps you bust stress so you can more fully connect with the heart of your creativity.

Just click the image above for your FREE GIFT!

Welcome to CT

Welcome to CT

Hi, I am Rachél.... the quirky, big-hearted soul behind Creativity Tribe, a sanctuary for your creative spirit. As a life coach and artist, I know the importance of community, celebration, and transformation. Creativity Tribe is abuzz with connections to other creative bloggers and offers tips and stories to inspire your creative lifestyle!
http://creativitytribe.com/

Creative Live Coach

vision_guide
There is a beauty that comes out of sharing a journey with another person....a dream for yourself, a direction for a project, a way out of the muck that holds your Creative Spirit back. Let's talk about working together. creativitytribe@gmail.com