My journal has become my closest companion this last month. It all began as I started attending a weekly meditation group and found rich stories pouring out of my inner worlds. Often the stories were of my own healing or the impressions I felt from those I was close to. Then, I began working with family members who were ill and a friend who was dying and the images I saw when I closed my eyes and got quiet invited themselves onto the pages of my journal.
I didn’t set out to draw my inner landscapes and the muses that populated them, but as my hand moved across the page to doodle, scribble, and otherwise make a mark, I found them showing up there. They feel like some of the most personal drawings I have ever done. They are more raw, more intimate, coming from my intuition. They are an expression of my spirituality.
I want to share them with you because they have felt like medicine to me and that kind of spirit-soothing through creativity what I hope to nurture here in Creativity Tribe Studio.
Today’s Intuitive Drawing came out of an evening spent in hospice with my friend. As I waited in the silence of her room, I heard a call from within myself to sing a song I sang at the death bed of another friend. The first time I sang it for the dying friend, I sang it over and over in her last minutes. It felt like I might be helping to sooth the way for her.
The song says, “Surely the presence of Love is in this place, I can feel it’s mighty power and grace. I can hear the brush of angel’s wings, I see glory on each face. Surely the presence of Love is in this place.” I think I have changed some of the words over the years, so it may have another version floating out there. But this is what I sing.
I struggled a bit with the urge I had to sing the song. Others were in the room with me. So I decided to sing it in my mind and began meditating on the door in front of me. The door to the room was cracked so that only golden light spilled in. As I stared at the light it changed to a neon lavender…changed as things do when you stare long enough. And I felt like I could see shadows like people passing in between the room and the door….as if they were in the room but all I saw were the shadows. I thought perhaps I should stop staring so hard but for some reason I was drawn in. I wasn’t scared because somehow although I felt like I was actually seeing something, I was seeing nothing. Now I know that is a strange thing to say, but sometime there just aren’t words for making sense out of the unusual.
A nurse came into the room and asked the family to step out so she could tend to our friend. As I walked away, I tried to shake the feeling that I had peeked into another world. I tried to let go because if I was ever to REALLY experience something like that, I wouldn’t want it to be forced. I wouldn’t want to spin a story from nothing. And those pulses of light shadows were barely there. Perhaps I was tricking myself. Perhaps I wanted something more to happen.
I made it to the end of the hall and sat. There was a hubbub in the room next to ours. The family came out to let the nurse know their loved one had passed. I was stunned. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was singing the song for him.
That night, alone in my room, I turned to the journal. My journal has been one of those things that has been with me through the craziest, most confusing of times and has never let me down. It brings me clarity. Letting my hand move across the page, I let go of the image above. The picture is grainy, but I actually prefer that to the crisp lines. The event was grainy. It is an in-between life and death, knowing and unknowing, kind of experience. It left my mind curious to see the whole picture, wishing to know if what I sensed was the real deal.
I think in times like this, in times where something other worldly, super natural, or something of the spirit has happened, you have to make a decision to doubt or just go with it. Going with it is what I chose to do. And this is what that means….
I think I sensed the passing of a person from this world into the next. I think my intuition connected with him and wanted to ferry him to the next part of his journey with that song. I never knew him….never saw him….but this image feels like it will connect me with him forever. And for that I am grateful.
Do you have a curiosity about spiritual art, intuitive art? Join me and a host of spiritual creatives for a journey into a place where art means mystery. Enrollment is open now….Angels In My Studio 2013. The Magic begins July 22nd. I for one, can’t wait!
Current Workshop: Angels In My Studio 2013
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